Quotes by Actresses - Page 47

My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
Chelsea Handler
Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.
Chelsea Handler
That's so cute! They have birdbaths in the church!
Hilary Duff
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
Nia Vardalos
Pleased to meet you." Sage said, offering his hand. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Unless ofcourse, it's all Clea's which is even better."Sage smiled and might have even blushed a bit, which was highly entertaining.
Hilary Duff
Some girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I wanted to be in a bad bitch girl gang.
Natalia Kills
Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking.
Oprah Winfrey
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.
Lady Gaga
However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.
Amy Poehler
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
Ellen DeGeneres
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
Tina Fey
Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
Ellen DeGeneres
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
Quick dinner with ... Ang [Lee] and his wife Jane who's visiting with the children for a while. We talked about her work as a microbiologist and the behaviour of the epithingalingie under the influence of cholesterol. She's fascinated by cholesterol. Says it's very beautiful: bright yellow. She says Ang is wholly uninterested. He has no idea what she does.I check this out for myself. 'What does Jane do?' I ask.'Science,' he says vaguely.
Emma Thompson
Lesson for young men: if you want your eventual wife to be excited about sucking your dick for forty years, don't create a generation of women who think enthusiasm about sex is a bad thing.
Anna Kendrick
Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does?
Amy Schumer
I always thought it's way more important to be funny or to be honest than to look any certain way
Emma Stone
Suddenly I began to wonder how to please so many people. do I take the magnesium citrate? What about the coffee enema? Do I do both? Do I do the abdominal message or the colonic? Do I tell the doctors about each other? East meets West in Gilda's body: Western medicine down my throat, Eastern medicine up my butt.
Gilda Radner
Stop trying to make everyone happy. You're not tequila.
Emmy Rossum
Drab?" Soldier yelled. "I'll give you drab. Beat her, would you? Beat my wife? I'll feed your head to the vultures, you snotty little hamster with your golden pelt and buttery looks!
Kim Hunter
For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.
Elizabeth Inchbald
Who is this repulsive dwarf?
Kim Hunter
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Candice Bergen
This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but you eat it. It all comes from the same place! You just have to go for it.
Chelsea Handler
One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
Chelsea Handler
If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!
Ellen DeGeneres
It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
Ellen DeGeneres
Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed to Iraq.
Chelsea Handler
Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a gay pride parade. Dog costumes are right up there with something else I find particularly offensive: sweater vests.
Chelsea Handler
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
Ellen DeGeneres
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.
Chelsea Handler
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions.
Ellen DeGeneres
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
Bette Davis
While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
Chelsea Handler
My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
Chelsea Handler
Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.
Chelsea Handler
That's so cute! They have birdbaths in the church!
Hilary Duff
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
Nia Vardalos
Pleased to meet you." Sage said, offering his hand. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Unless ofcourse, it's all Clea's which is even better."Sage smiled and might have even blushed a bit, which was highly entertaining.
Hilary Duff
Some girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I wanted to be in a bad bitch girl gang.
Natalia Kills
Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking.
Oprah Winfrey
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.
Lady Gaga
However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.
Amy Poehler
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
Ellen DeGeneres
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
Tina Fey
Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
Ellen DeGeneres
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
The way children stretch time and the way adults forget that stretch could be one of the saddest differences in the world.
Catherine Lacey
It was nice to borrow a slice of extra time.
Francesca Marciano
You chose to live here now. You should try to live in the present.
Francesca Marciano
Depression, as far as I'm concerned, is just a waste of time.
Helen Reddy
I got tired of feeling like Dracula. I wanted to see some daylight, and not just at six o’clock in the morning.
Kate Moss