Quotes by Actresses - Page 43

You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.
Cindy Crawford
[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.
Tina Fey
The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman
Dawn French
I think the best role models for women are people who are fruitfully and confidently themselves, who bring light into the world.
Meryl Streep
I think that the most important thing a woman can have- next to talent, of course- is her hairdresser.
Joan Crawford
Men always fall for frigid women because they put on the best show.
Fanny Brice
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.
Sophia Loren
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.
Roseanne Barr
Usually when you see females in movies, they feel like they have these metallic structures around them, they are caged by male energy.
Björk
God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met.
Farrah Fawcett
Some guy said to me: Don't you think you're too old to sing rock n' roll?I said: You'd better check with Mick Jagger.
Cher
I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
Gilda Radner
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
Cher
Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.
Mae West
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
Barbra Streisand
When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.
Bette Davis
There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.
Audrey Hepburn
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Mae West
There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.
Mae West
Looking at yourself in a mirror isn't exactly a study of life.
Lauren Bacall
There was no whimsical ‘sip of wine at Thanksgiving’ for us kids while we were still teenagers. This was the Clinton era, and my parents were already worried about the moral deterioration of the country.
Mindy Kaling
Phenomenology became the grounds for variants of standpoint epistemology: if a phenomenon seems real, then it is real enough. A Marxist vision of standpoint epistemology, on the other hand, does not privilege individual perception as the arbiter of reality.
Holly Lewis
Latinos are here to stay. As citizen Raquel, I'm proud to be Latina.
Raquel Welch
And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women - except, of course —those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff, But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years - whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know - actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.
Tina Fey
She [88yo Mrs Fitzgerald] crossed herself and patted my arm. "And you're after coming all the way from England to find out who done it? Aren't you great? God bless you, young fella." "The old heretic," I said, when we got outside. Mrs. Fitzgerald had cheered up my day immensely. "I hope I have that much zip when I'm eighty-eight
Tana French
So what are you thinking?" I asked. I meant about the case, obviously, but Cassie was in a giddy mood--she generates more energy than most people, and she'd been sitting indoors most of the day. "Will you listen to him? A woman asking a guy what he's thinking is the ultimate crime, she's clingy and needy and he runs a mile, but when it's the other--" "Behave yourself," I said, pulling her hood over her face. "Help! I'm being oppressed!" she yelled through it. "Call the Equality Commission." The stroller girl gave us a sour look. "You're overexcited," I told Cassie. "Calm down or I'll take you home with no ice cream.
Tana French
...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa.
Ellen DeGeneres
I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them - by the way you dress, your sexuality, or the ass faces you like to make - you are just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self righteous kooks are. So enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift.(Granted, to some of us it's kind of a gag gift, but that's okay too.) Wear what you want, love who you want, and have fun.
Ellen DeGeneres
Life is a windowless room in the Hotel Bellevue.
Victoria Wood
She looked utterly betrayed, as betrayed as the most betrayed person in Shakespeare.
Miranda July
…you either do or do not have a comedy mind, whatever that is, maybe a heightened sense of the ridiculous and the absurdity of life…We are all crazy and crazed.
Joan Rivers
People say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.
Joan Rivers
I said, "Is there!" I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math — if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?
Joan Rivers
Somehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe.
Joan Rivers
It gathers emotionally inside you, in a strange way a by-product of struggle, of a willingness to do anything, try anything, expose yourself to anything — staying in motion because sooner or later those ripples will cause change.
Joan Rivers
Laughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like dust.
Joan Rivers
When you begin to losing your audience, do not get loud; get quiet, make them find you and come back to you.
Joan Rivers
I am driven. Being driven is my energy source. It is my fun.…I believe that where there is action, there is movement, and those ripples will eventually produce something positive.
Joan Rivers
The revelation that personal truth can be the foundation of comedy, that outrageousness can be cleansing and healthy…
Joan Rivers
The act of creation fascinates me. You can only sit with blank page and wait. You cannot press a button, cannot program it.
Joan Rivers
Everything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…
Joan Rivers
Liked" was the kiss of death. "Loved" or "hated" interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion.
Joan Rivers
Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.
Joan Rivers
…but I think comedy is more aggressive than that. It is a medium for revenge. We can deflate and punish the pomposity and the rejection which hurt us. Comedy is power.
Joan Rivers
I had a blind date with a dentist — and he told me to come back in six months.
Joan Rivers
Frightfully pale and perpetually odd
Sue Perkins
Tom began screaming, and I wondered if the baby's soft brain was, in this moment, changing shape in response to the violent stimuli. I tried to intellectualize the noise to protect the baby's psyche. I whispered: Isn't that interesting to hear a man scream? Doesn't that challenge our stereotypes of what men can do? And then I tried, Shhhhhhhhh.
Miranda July
Michael tousled my hair and said, "Remember, no more skateboards, right?" And then this gem: "If you ever break your arm skateboarding again..." He paused, flashing me a dimpled Charles Ingalls grin, which then suddenly disappeared. "I'll break the other one.
Alison Arngrim
Now, whatever you do, don't say anything, because no one must know that Liberace is gay.""Excuse me?" I said. "I'm eight. I know he's gay.
Alison Arngrim
I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
Lauren Ambrose as Claire Fisher
Am I gay, am I straight? No, I'm just slutty. So, where's my parade? What about slut pride.
Margaret Cho
i won't be happy until i'm famous like God
Madonna
Having been engaged rather a lot of times, Zsa Zsa Gabor was asked whether a lady should give back the ring. Her answer?"Of course dahlink, but first, you take out all the diamonds.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Actually, I am a failed anorexic. I have anorexic thinking, but I can't seem to muster the behavoir
Carrie Fisher
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple Black