Quotes by Actors - Page 68

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Steve Martin
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.
Tom Waits
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C.Fields
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Orson Welles
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
George Carlin
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Groucho Marx
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
George Carlin
To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.
Woody Allen
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Groucho Marx
People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.'So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Robert Benchley
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
George Carlin
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
Steve Martin
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
Orson Welles
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris Rock
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
George Carlin
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
W.C.Fields
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C.Fields
Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?
Terry Johnson
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
What other people think of me is not my business.
Michael J. Fox
Live Long and Prosper
Leonard Nimoy
I don't think anyone, until their soul leaves their body, is past the point of no return
Tom Hiddleston
America is too great for small dreams.
Ronald Reagan
Dupa ce iti omori demonii, daca ai curajul sa o faci, e musai sa te intorci pe acelasi drum.
Tudor Chirilă
When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you're going to take whatever lesson that person or animal was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life... it's a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself.
Patrick Swayze
As I go clowning my sentimental way into eternity, wrestling with all my problems of estrangement and communion, sincerity and simulation, ambition and acquiescence, I shuttle between worrying whether I matter at all and whether anything else matters but me.
Stephen Fry
When you become the image of your own imagination, it's the most powerful thing you could ever do.
RuPaul
A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
Bill Cosby
You don't have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day.
Viggo Mortensen
Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water.
Bruce Lee
The More we value things, the less we value ourselves
Bruce Lee
The future doesn't belong to the light-hearted. It belongs to the brave.
Ronald Reagan
I believe that everything that you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad, I'm going to suffer from it. But in my mind, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven
Tupac Shakur
when you're cool for twenty,you get paid for twenty-one.
Miguel Piñero
Tough times don't last, tough people do, remember?
Gregory Peck
Sometimes we know in our bones what we really need to do, but we're afraid to do it. Taking a chance and stepping beyond the safety of the world we've always known is the only way to grow, though and without risk there is no reward.
Wil Wheaton