Quotes by Actors - Page 57

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.
George Carlin
A man touched me: his hand... my thigh.I touched him too: my fist... his jaw.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock...
Johnny Depp
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
You gotta be careful: don't say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.
Johnny Depp
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real.
Harry Styles
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Rodney Dangerfield
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
Rodney Dangerfield
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Jerry Seinfeld
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.
Bill Cosby
You're like a fish. You want to evolve, to climb onto the land, but the ocean won't let go of you so easily. The currents of your past would sooner destroy you than let you go free.
Michael Goorjian
Science is most definitely not a priesthood where people stand on a mountain and pass truths down to the waiting minions below.
Brian Cox
There are three known planets in the PSR B1257 system, which have been named Draugr, Poltergeist and Phobetor. Poltergeist was the first to be discovered. I know, I was curious about their names as well. Poletrgeist means "pounding ghost". The draugr are the unded in Norse legends who live in their graves. And Phobetor is the personification of nightmares, and the son of Nyx, Greek goddess of the night.Astronomers are goths.
Brian Cox
This belief, that science eradicates (the need for) God, is a myth many people believe today. The truth is that science, the study of the world and collection of our findings, has not and cannot disprove God. There is no scientific journal that has disproven God’s existence. This is because God cannot be put in a test tube and either verified or falsified. God is a spiritual being and is outside the reach of empirical scientific research. Christians cannot prove God the existence of God with absolute certainty, nor can atheists disprove his existence with any certainty. That does not mean that we cannot look at the evidence as to whether or not God exists.
Jon Morrison
The truth is that science has not disproved the existence of God. Many eminent scientists find that their work and their faith are complementary. Though science cannot give us the meaning of life, morality, love, or any of the other things that mean most to us, we can all learn a great deal about God’s world through scientific discovery. The real tension lies in the way discoveries are reported. How the data are shared reveals something about the presupposition of the one writing the report - whether that person has a particular bias or whether the report is simply a neutral observation of data. Due to differences in worldview, it is understandable that atheistic and theistic scientists will interpret data differently. They will draw from other fields such as psychology, philosophy, or theology. We must all be aware of the biases we bring into all of our work, science included. The church may have a reputation for suppressing scientific discovery but I am confident that this is being corrected today with the high level scholarly work being done by eminent Christians in all fields of science.
Jon Morrison
Universally accepted, microevolution has limits for what it can explain. These limits do not reach the center where the controversy lies - the Thesis of Common Ancestry was popularized by Charles Darwin. Darwin believed that the world we see today has come to us through an evolutionary process called natural selection. Through genetic mutation, species adapt and develop because the strongest of a species will survive and pass on their DNA to their successors. Macroevolution is the belief that all development — from the first moments of the universe, the formation of stars and planets, to the eventual emergence of simple bacteria, to the most complex human being is explainable through this naturalistic transformational process.
Jon Morrison
You are aware that what they do, they do for the world, and the results are, of course, magnificent. But when you . . . read Douglas Adams. . . you feel you are, perhaps, the only person in the world who really gets them. Just about everybody else admires them, of course, but no one really connects with them in the way you do . . . It’s like falling in love. When an especially peachy Adams’ turn of phrase or epithet enters the eye and penetrates the brain, you want to tap the shoulder of the nearest stranger and share it. The stranger might laugh and seem to enjoy the writing, but you hug to yourself the thought that they didn’t quite understand its force and quality the way you do, just as your friends, thank heavens, don’t also fall in love with the person you are going on and on about to them.
Stephen Fry
Today it was commerce that Europe valued and it was the businessmen who, having exploited what the scientists and thechnologits had done for the world, now reaped the rewards.
Stephen Fry
What we learn is that the scientist is as important a part of this experiment as the electron, and that the scientist and the electron are in fact connected. This experiment is the cornerstone of the holistic universe theory.
Danny Scheinmann
DNA has memory!
Isaiah Washington
Mere lack of evidence, of course, is no reason to denounce a theory. Look at intelligent design. The fact that it is bollocks hasn’t stopped a good many people from believing in it. Darwinism itself is only supported by tons of evidence, which is a clear indication that Darwin didn’t write his books himself.
Eric Idle
To be able to see into a friends' dream is a dream in itself.-Doctor Kōsaku Tokita (Paprika)
Yasutaka Tsutsui
There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
Woody Allen
I'm comfortable with the unknown -- that's the point of science. There are places out there, billions of places out there, that we know nothing about. And the fact that we know nothing about them excites me, and I want to go out and find out about them.And that's what science is.So I think if you’re not comfortable with the unknown, then it’s difficult to be a scientist… I don’t need an answer. I don’t need answers to everything. I want to have answers to find.
Brian Cox
If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
Peter Ustinov
I am not afraid of a person who knows 10000 kicks. But I am afraid of a person who knows one kick but practices it for 10000 times.
Bruce Lee
I think Lafayette wants to rap in French now. I have to go learn some French.Damn it, Lafayette
Lin-Manuel Miranda
I think Lafayette wants to rap in French now. I have to go learn some French.Damn it, Lafayette.
Lin-Manuel Miranda
We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind.
Frank Cottrell Boyce
Oh. My. God.’ she said, pointing out of the window. ‘Do you know what that is?’I nodded and said, ‘I think I may have seen it before.’‘That,’ said Florida, ‘is the Moonyouidiot.
Frank Cottrell Boyce
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
Eric Idle
This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water.
Russell Brand
I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie.
Mark Wahlberg
If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.
Tom Hanks
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
The brain can be a dangerous thing. Even more so if you haven't got one.
Dave Courtney
I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?' I said, 'I wanted this girl and she left me.'And he said,'Well, we have to look into that.'And I said, 'There's nothing to look into! I wanted her and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, why are you feeling so intense?'And I said, 'Cause I want the girl!' And he said, 'What's underneath it?' And I said, 'Nothing!'He said, 'I'll have to give you medication.'I said, 'I don't want medication! I want the girl!'And he said, 'We have to work this through.'So, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck. And before I knew it, guys from Con Ed had jumper cables in my head and the rest was...
Woody Allen
Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm
David Cross
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.
Jean Shepherd
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.
Dylan Moran
And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope.
George Carlin
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
He`s quite extraordinary with his moves and spins. I think he was a baton girl in a past life [on his co-star Hayden Christensen].
Ewan McGregor
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back
Rodney Dangerfield
Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words?
Martin Freeman
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.
Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way.
George Carlin
Oh. Momma told me not to tell you that your bed squeaks. But I think you know, 'cause I could hear it this morning. Jake dropped his fork. Tor, for the first time Jake had ever seen, turned scarlet. Maureen looked at them both and sighed. Christmas is always so interesting with you, Mark.
Chris Owen
We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder. I mean, I am sure some of you are looking at me and thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as you,” and I am thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as the people in the loony bin,” and the people in the loony bin are thinking, “Well, at least I am an orange”.
Jim Gaffigan