Quotes by Actors - Page 25

...I learned the lesson that, even after the revolution, cool, handsome and confident is always going to beat weird-looking and needy.
Alexei Sayle
Every moment is a fresh new beginning, a wonderful inauguration of the great cosmic journey through the universe. We can do whatever we want. We can change reality at any moment.
Russell Brand
The Advanced Level is Mastery of the Basics
Ray Mancini
When we appear to be “more a loser than a victor” on the Path it is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are growing spiritually.
Tom Payne
You can either be god of certain areas of your life, or let Me be God of your whole life.
The Skit Guys
each year, she finds her friendships less volatile and easier, because she increasingly succeeds at looking past their flaws and disappointments and homing in on their pleasures and on what set them in motion to begin with. And she wonders why she didn’t do that sooner, why she gave in to so much fury and sorrow when she could have just let those emotions go.
Frank Bruno
Kids don't always stop to judge or analyze a new experience unless the adults around them react strongly. Otherwise, they just take in the experience and move on to the next one.
Martin Sheen
When an actor reaches down into his emotional well and pulls up a deeply personal response, the audience can sense something special is going on. They may not know exactly what they're seeing, but they recognize it as authentic.
Martin Sheen
The line between spontaneity and stupidity can be very thin.
Martin Sheen
It wasn't work. I played myself.
Dick Van Dyke
The only ironic thing about that song is that it's called 'Ironic' and it is written by a woman who doesn't know what irony is. That's quite ironic when you think about it. (on Alanis Morissette's 'Ironic')
Ed Byrne
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Chris Rock
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark
Graham Chapman
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
Steve Martin
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Woody Allen
IF A THING IS WORTH HAVING, ITS WORTH CHEATING FOR.
W.C.Fields
I shall now express my utter disgust and anger with you through the piano.
Akira Sasanuma
He said he wouldn’t stay, as he didn’t care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don’t often make jokes.
George Grossmith
Everyone says it's wrong, 'drinking and driving', don't they. I can tell you two things that are far more dangerous than 'drinking and driving': 1. 'drinking'; 2. 'driving'.Do you know how many people were killed last year in Britain as a direct result of alcohol abuse?--thirty-five-thousand!Do you know how many people were killed as a direct result of driving a car?--twenty-two-thousand!Do you know how many people were killed as a direct result of drinking _and_ driving?--five-hundred! ::pauses::I'm not taking any fuckin' chances!::swigs his beer::
Lee Mack
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx
Judith (sadly): A change has come over my children of late. I have tried to shut my eyes to it, but in vain. At my time of life one must face bitter facts!
Noel Coward Sir
The difference between a man and a woman is whether to ask for directions.
Edward Harris
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker,
Zach Galifianakis
Comedy should provoke! It should blast through prejudices, challenge preconceptions; comedy should always leave you different than when it found you.
Duckman (Jason Alexander)
I don't write comedy. I write drama that's funny.
Gregor Collins
Dat's a some joke, Hey Boss.
Chico Marx
There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.
Jim Jefferies
is there any I could get a glass of water?"[waiter]There is no way... I toss and turn many a night trying to think up some way some how I could get glasses of water to costomers but I keep coming up empty..... Legend has it there was a waiter here many years ago... who had figured out a way to do just that but he is long gone and with him the secret. It had something to do with a glass rack and a faucet but no one has been able to put the pieces together so I must say no there is no way. HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY!!!
Brian Regan
Ah! good Sir! no Whores before Dinner, I beseech
Colley Cibber
No one will laugh at how great things are for somebody.
Harold Ramis
There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.
Bob Newhart
It could be worse... It could be raining
Marty Feldman
I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.
Craig Ferguson
That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
Bill Cosby
At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig Ferguson
I fart in your general direction.
Graham Chapman
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.
Bill Cosby
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious
Peter Ustinov
Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here.
Alan Rickman
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Graham Chapman
With nature on your side, you don’t need numbers, you don’t need financing and you certainly don’t need to make friends with people you should be fightingagainst.
Christopher Rankin
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
I don't go in for ancient wisdomI don't believe just 'cos ideas are tenacious it means they're worthy
Tim Minchin
We give more economic aid to multinational corporations to increase their profits than we do to all the countries in the world combined.
Michael Hogan
Oh, and 13.1 million American people had their homes foreclosed. Because their debt, it turns out, was real; it was only the debt within the financial sector that was imaginary. It was only the people who generated the crisis who got three magical wishes from an economic genie. There was no abracadabra for ordinary people; they just got abraca-fucked.
Russell Brand
Every person who is really an artist desires to create inside of himself another, deeper, more interesting life than the one that actually surrounds him.
Konstantin Stanislavski
There are two types of people in this world: Those who make it their life's work to rid themselves of all pain and suffering... and Artists.
Gregor Collins
If what makes a person an artist is their work, they should be admired; if what makes a person an artist is themselves, they should be adored.
Gregor Collins
What I wear on and off stage is my mask. You see, a mask doesn't hide you, it exposes you.
Nuno Roque
I am a victim. To be an artist is to be a victim, because if you don't do what you want to do you die. That is the reality.
Alejandro Jodorowsky
It is a matter of artistic instinct. In his own thoughts and feelings and way of doing things an actor is worth nothing or he is worth something. If he is worth something then he will try to be worth something more as is only normal in anyone who wants to get on. I can think of no other way to explain artistic development.
Maurice Chevalier
Poems are the chorus of our lives. the poet sets the words to the music of our souls. Each poem has its own rhythm that drums like a heartbeat.
John Ritter
Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever heard. About three years late, women got wise an my frustration returned to normal levels.
Steve Martin
If I can do it, anybody can do it. Willpower is strong! I believe that. You just have to have faith in yourself—and God—and make sure you know where your priorities stand.
Gavin MacLeod
Sometimes you don’t get a second chance. You need to take a chance when you have the opportunity. Always.
Gavin MacLeod
Audrey Hepburn, as famous as she was, packed her own suitcases... I don’t know why that struck me, but it did. 'She has a servant’s heart,' I thought.
Gavin MacLeod
Mary [Tyler Moore] was absolutely brilliant... She is a fabulous actress. She can do anything.
Gavin MacLeod
So when people see me walking on the street, they feel like we're old pals. Women pull my cheeks and men clap me on the shoulder; I'm like a petting zoo. But movie stars, on the other hand, are much more untouchable. Those are people that you watch from afar. They're regal lions. I'm a friendly goat.
Kunal Nayyar
I have referred to it as a gift--something for which others with this affliction have taken me to task. I was only speaking from my own experience, of course, but I stand partially corrected: if it is a gift, it's the gift that just keeps on taking.Coping with relentless assault and the accumulating damage is not easy. Nobody would ever choose to have this visited upon them. Still, this unexpected crisis forced a fundamental life decision: adopt a siege mentality--or embark upon a journey. Whatever it was--courage? acceptance? wisdom?--that finally allowed me to go down the second road (after spending a few disastrous years on the first) was unquestionably a gift--and absent this neurophysiological catastrophe, I would never have opened it, or been so profoundly enriched. That's why I consider myself a lucky man.
Michael J. Fox