Quotes by Actors

There's a reason caveman started to develop sophisticated tools before the meteor wiped them all out: It's so they could fucking shave. Do you know how frustrating it must have been to be hunched over all night trying to start a fire only to finally succeed just to have your beard go up in flames? No aloe vera back then.
Ari Gold
First, if you participate in Movember, fuck you. Second, if you want to raise money for prostate cancer (a noble cause), do it the old-fashioned way, by either begging for it or exerting yourself physically for donations. Sitting on your ass and letting nature take its course above your upper lip is not the same thing as running a 10K at a local high school or breaking out the set of power tools your dad gave you as a housewarming present collecting dust in your garage and using them to go out and build a habitat for humanity. Maybe I can raise money for rectal cancer by getting people to pledge a dollar every time I take a shit. And third no one wants to see that horrific seventies pornstache growing like a caterpillar with cerebral palsy zigzagging across your face; you look like you're about to go door to door informing people that you're a registered sex offender who's just moved in next door and would their kids like to come out and was your windowless van for a dollar?Fuck Movember. And November.
Ari Gold
Commenting on print journalism at the Commenting on print journalism at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner: “Thanks to Obamacare, millions of Americans can visit a doctor’s office and see what a print magazine actually looks like.
Joel McHale
I didn't cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.
Russell Brand
When you use more than 3-5% of your brain, you don't want to be on Earth!"-Bob Diamond, Interdimensional Attorney, from the Albert Brooks' movie, Defending Your Life
Albert Brooks
No literally the only thing that's stopping us from getting married is the fact that we haven't 'met yet
Troye Sivan
If you were to gather all the minutes wasted on insignificant, immaterial yik yak spent throughout the day and add them up, how much misspent time do you think you'd have? One hour? Two hours? Consider the sunk cost on that. It's unacceptable. One minute wasted is one minute too much.
Ari Gold
The Jewish center on Kings Highway scheduled an interview at the local labor hall downtown for my father to meet one of their counselors in order to asses his skills and capabilities. When my father sat down with the fellow and asked all sorts of questions, his reply was a blank stare. Boris didn't understand a word. He did speak a little English | He knew two words, pipe and chair. So Boris did the smart thing. He kept saying pipe over and over. Whatever question, he simply replied... pipe. The counselor soon got the gist | Boris must be a plumber. He was handed a small slip of paper and was instructed to report to the address penciled on it at 6 am sharp the following day.
Gary "Gunz" Govich
Wanting to leave communist Russia is all fine and well | Actually leaving the country is where you might run into a few setbacks. Obtaining a visa for a simple vacation outside the soviet block was a long and arduous process. To immigrate to a free society was about as easy as finding whiskey in a church.
Gary "Gunz" Govich
Another deputy threw down a clear plastic trash bag with my orange jumpsuit. I reached for the bag and was knocked down to the floor with an overhead right, another shove, and I was inside the 4X6 room. The heavy white door was already closing behind me. The walls here were made of hard white rubber. There was a small shower head towards the back of the tiny cell and a grated hole in the middle of the floor | I assumed that the hold would be my toilet. The cell reeked of anguish.
Gary "Gunz" Govich
New York, of course, is to be in endless surreal situations where a fifty-thousand dollar, gun-metal Mercedez pulls up into a puddle of blood, and out steps a twenty-five karat blonde transvestite with a two dollar wristwatch.
Tom Waits
I think I'm a tiny bit like Harry 'cos I'd like to have an owl. Yeah, that's the tiny bit, actually.
Daniel Radcliffe
I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy
Dean Martin
Which one of us, went and fucked up?
Troye Sivan
And my hopes they are high I must keep them small
Troye Sivan
You make my heart shake bend and break
Troye Sivan
No greater place to be than in a leadership position to lead young minds to prosperity
Darrius Garrett
He had a voice you couldn't miss: strong and penetrating with strange vowels that sounded different from the accents of other English speakers even to me. I later discovered that he was Canadian.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
What did I discover during my solo—besides learning to unwrap my energy bar ahead of time? That you ask yourself a lot of questions when you're alone on a bike for that long. One question more than others: Why the heck am I doing this? When I was done, I think I had found the answer: For the satisfaction that comes with pushing your body to the breaking point and conquering the unknown.
Matt Long
As far as I can tell, it's just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.
Jim Carrey
At some point in our lifetime, gay marriage won't be an issue, and everyone who stood against this civil right will look as outdated as George Wallace standing on the school steps keeping James Hood from entering the University of Alabama because he was black.
George Clooney
Good luck is a residue of preparation.
Jack Youngblood
We do not deny any nation's legitimate interest in security. But protecting the security of one nation by robbing another of its national independence and national traditions is not legitimate. In the long run, it is not even secure.
Ronald Reagan
Much, much later. when I am back home and being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I will be enabled to see what was going on in my mind immediately after 11 August.I am still capable of operating mechanically as a soldier in these following days. But operating mechanically as a soldier is now all I am capable of.Martin says he is worried about me. He says I have the thousand-yard stare'.Of course, I cannot see this stare. But by now we both have more than an idea what it means.So, among all the soldiers here, this is nothing to be ashamed of. But as it really does just go with the territory we find ourselves in. it is just as equally not a badge of h
Jake Wood
The weather gods are toying with us." - Dr. James Stagg
David Haig
I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.
Craig Ferguson
A poet in his senses knocks vainly at the gates of poetry.
Ben Johnson
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W.C.Fields
I only read books if Voltaire's cock has been dipped in red ink and rolled over the cover.
Greg Proops
Those are big collisions, Hally. They make for a lot of bruises. People get hurt in all that bumping, and we're sick and tired of it now. It's been going on for too long. Are we never going to get it right?...Learn to dance life like champions instead of always being just a bunch of beginners at it?
Athol Fugard
Tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease
Troye Sivan
You are no longer human, with all those depths and highs and nuances of emotion that define you as a person.There is no feeling any more, because to feel any emotion would also be to beckon the overwhelming blackness from you. My mind has now locked all this down. And without any control of this self-defence mechanism my subconscious has operated. I do not feel any more.
Jake Wood
So crucify the ego, before it's far too late,To leave behind this place so negative and blindAnd cynical - and you will come to find that, We are all one mind capable of All that's imagined and all conceivable,Just let the light touch youAnd let the words spill through,And let them pass right throughBringing out our hope and reason,Before we pine away
Maynard James Keenan
The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap! I promise you! It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don't buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful, and be generous.
Ashton Kutcher
I felt old. Again. It had been happening a lot lately. I did not live the life of an old lady, but I could hear it beckoning to me, like a mermaid on a rock."— Michelle Tea, "Paris: A
Clint Catalyst
I was at this guy's house. I met this girl who was hanging out there. She was real pretty, she had brown eyes and dark hair. She was soft-spoken and real nice. I know that everyone has their own life and they can do what they want and you shouldn't think anything of it or anything. But man, I couldn't help but flinch a little when I saw all those needle marks in her arm, they looked so sore. Hateful little holes. I wanted to say something, but I didn't.
Henry Rollins
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
Willie Nelson
Dying is the last thing I will ever do.
John Barrymore
There can't be that many individual souls. Not souls like mine. There isn't room. There can't be.
Stephen Fry
Be careful, Hally.""Of what? The truth? I seem to be the only one around here who is prepared to face it.
Athol Fugard
Personally, I think, so what? Money's just a thing and things change. That's what I've found. One minute something's really there, right next to you, and you can cuddle up to it. The next it just melts away, like a Hershey's kiss.
Frank Cottrell Boyce
In a cruel and imperfect world, she was living proof that God could still create perfection.
Rex Reed
We were not told how Alexander the Great was the last person in history to successfully 'pacify' what would become Afghanistan, over 2,000 years ago.
Jake Wood
Garry Shandling has always been a pioneer of… meta entertainment. He's always been a defender of the creative right to use the frame as part of the painting.
Dan Harmon
My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.
Dan Harmon
And she knew that her fate wasn't set by how or where she was born, but the decisions she made and the battles she fought. It didn't matter if she had eight toes or ten, amber eyes or blue. What mattered was what she set out to do.
Robert Beatty
Music is poetry with personality
Ross Lynch
I was born to make mistakes, not to be perfect.
Ross Lynch
I'm a Joker. Dangerous and silly at the same time.
Nuno Roque
My only career goal is to be an halloween icon.
Nuno Roque
I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.
Craig Ferguson
Leaders set the context and create the conditions in which individuals and organizations thrive.
Bob Anderson
I shall now express my utter disgust and anger with you through the piano.
Akira Sasanuma
If I can do it, anybody can do it. Willpower is strong! I believe that. You just have to have faith in yourself—and God—and make sure you know where your priorities stand.
Gavin MacLeod
There's nothing gay about living life straight
Paul B. Tripp
When we became teenagers boredom grew like a moth in a cocoon fighting to escape, and the peace created by our parents became a prison. We sought excitement and adventure. We sought anything but the sinless, pure, and average of the faux idyllic.
Scott Thompson
The most valuable thing [Anton LaVey] did that day was to help me understand and come to terms with the deadness, hardness and apathy I was feeling about myself and the world around me, explaining that it was all necessary, a middle step in an evolution from an innocent child to an intelligent, powerful being capable of making a mark on the world.
Marilyn Manson
Crime was my career. I considered myself a craftsman | a true professional. Everybody has a craft they practice. Clean or dirty, safe or dangerous, we all have a viable skill and a part to play in the enigma that comprises our world. A professional is a person who earns moneys for practicing their craft. Having labored many years and becoming experienced in a particular skill, you learn the gradations and eventually reach the title of master.
Gary "Gunz" Govich
I guess you could say I'm allergic to sunlight. If I'm exposed to it, it could kill me.
Lee Thompson
My only allegiance is to my country.  The success of our country is built on hard work, sacrifice, innovation, integrity, and confidence.  How can you be confident if you can’t get a job?  How can you be confident if the mortgage on your home is higher than your home’s value?  How can you be confident when our elected officials haven’t given us one single idea how to fix this situation? – Jeremy Lyons
Marvin H. McIntyre