Quotes by Irish Authors - Page 58

On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber JooOn the Nong Ning NangAll the Mice go Clang!And you just cant catch em when they do!So its Ning Nang Nong!Cows go Bong!Nong Nang Ning!Trees go Ping!Nong Ning Nang!The mice go Clang!What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!
Spike Milligan
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan
Having one eye makes you see the world in unusual ways, Shockwave..." -Overlord
Nick Roche
Women treat us [men] like humanity treats gods – they worship us and keep bothering us to do something.
Oscar Wilde
Hello, IT... Have you tried turning it off and on again?... OK, well, the button on the side. Is it glowing?... Yeah, you need to turn it on.... Err, the button turns it on.... Yeah, you do know how a button works, don't you?... No, not on clothes... I'm sorry, are you from the past?
Graham Linehan
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
Spike Milligan
Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of herfather’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as henodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverwarewhen he thought no one was looking
Derek Landy
I love you.''Yeah, well...''You make my heart want to beat.''That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.''But my love for you is eternal.''That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.
Derek Landy
It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.Darquesse smiled.
Derek Landy
Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
Oscar Wilde
I wish you would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Oscar Wilde
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman
Oscar Wilde
So what does that actually mean?''To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.''Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said.'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.
Derek Landy
And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying.
Dylan Moran
You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...''Don't?''Exactly,' he said happily.
Derek Landy
You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.''No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.''Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now.
Derek Landy
Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.''I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.''Finbar, are there superheroes living among us?' Finbar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spiderman to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.' 'These people don't wear tights and capes, Finbar.''So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.''They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.''You,' Finbar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now.
Derek Landy
Who or what inspires you?""I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
Eoin Colfer
Yes?" she asked, eyeing me guardedly.I struck out a hand and said "Shake."Arra stared at the hand, then into my unfocused eyes. "One good fight doesn't make you a warrior," she said."Shake!" I repeated angrily."And if I don't?" she asked."I'll get back up on the bars and fight you till you do," I growled.Arra studied me at length, then nodded and took my hand. "Power to you, Darren Shan," she said gruffly."Power," I repeated weakly, then fainted into her arms and knew no more till I came to in my hammock the next night.
Darren Shan
Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.
Dylan Moran
When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.
Derek Landy
I'm too old to know everything
Oscar Wilde
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
George Bernard Shaw
Euthanasia" is an excellent and comforting word! I am grateful to whoever invented it.
Bram Stoker
China is the same age as I am, and even I have to admit that she wears it better!" He laughed, then stopped and peered at her. "Because I'm a skeleton" he explained.
Derek Landy
Sometimes I feel better around you. I kind of like your face' -Nick
Sarah Rees Brennan
You mean that because I have no name I cannot die and that you cannot be held answerable for death even if you kill me?""That is about the size of it," said the Sergeant.I felt so sad and so entirely disappointed that tears came into my eyes and a lump of incommunicable poignancy swelled tragically in my throat. I began to feel intensely every fragment of my equal humanity. The life that was bubbling at the end of my fingers was real and nearly painful in intensity and so was the beauty of my warm face and the loose humanity of my limbs and the racy health of my red rich blood. To leave it all without good reason and to smash the little empire into small fragments was a thing too pitiful even to refuse to think about.
Flann O'Brien
Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
Eoin Colfer
He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.
Oscar Wilde
I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.
Derek Landy
Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things.That is exactly what things were originally made for.
Oscar Wilde
Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?
Spike Milligan
Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?
Derek Landy
He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.''I love you.''That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.''Not until you say yes.''You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.''Be my wife.' 'Shut the hell up.
Derek Landy
Is that it?”“No. That’s a wall.”“It could be disguised.”“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.
Derek Landy
We can do this the easy way,' Oblivious snarled. 'Or the hard way.''What's the easy way?''You leave immediately.''And what's the hard way?''We make you leave.'Skulduggery's head tilted. 'What was the easy way again?
Derek Landy
Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly.“What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder intoan art form?”“But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I readyour file.”He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t
Derek Landy
It would be fun,” Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.
Derek Landy
You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?' He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along.
Derek Landy
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan Moran
He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.
Derek Landy
Oh, China. How I have missed you.''And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.''My accent?''It is quite silly.''So you can't understand me?''Not a word.''Then how did you understand that?''I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?''That's right.''You understood that, though.''Not at all.'The American glowered.
Derek Landy
Is he all scarred now?”“Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
Derek Landy
People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.
Oscar Wilde
The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”“I am.”“Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”“Sure,” Kenny said, slightly baffled.“Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I suddenly accuse you of murder.
Derek Landy
Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”“We make a great team.”“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.
Derek Landy
I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained ina variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.
Derek Landy
I have no objection to anyone’s sex life as long as they don’t practice it in the street and frighten the horses.
Oscar Wilde
What would killing the Elders result in?" "Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?
Derek Landy
Kindness suits you.""Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.
Derek Landy
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
Oscar Wilde
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
Oscar Wilde
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
Oscar Wilde
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Oscar Wilde
Existentialism, in both its Continental and its Anglo-Saxon versions, is an attempt to solve the problem without really facing it: to solve it by attributing to the individual an empty, lonely freedom, a freedom, if he wishes, to 'fly in the face of the facts'. What it pictures is indeed the fearful solitude of the individual marooned upon a tiny island in the middle of a sea of scientific facts, and morality escaping from science only by a wild leap of the will. But our situation is not like this.
Iris Murdoch
...if charity begins at home, empire begins in other men's homes.
Roger Casement
. . . buzzed up by the knowledge that none of my family knew where I was, who I was with nor when I'd be home again. I didn't even know exactly who I was with or when I'd be home again or where home really was anymore.
Sara Baume
Freedom is your soul in the emptiness of night. Freedom is this dark that is as great as what it holds the stars and everything beneath it and yet how it seems to be nothing, has no beginning, no end, and no center.
Paul Lynch
But whether the risks to which liberty exposes us are moral or physical our right to liberty involves the right to run them. A man who is not free to risk his neck as an aviator or his soul as a heretic is not free at all; and the right to liberty begins, not at the age of 21 years but 21 seconds.
George Bernard Shaw