Quotes by British Authors - Page 800

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
Terry Pratchett
Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall."Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.""D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern."Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin...
J.K. Rowling
I dreamed I was buying new shoes last night," said Ron. "What d'ya think that's gonna mean?""Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry.
J.K. Rowling
Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles.
J.K. Rowling
It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily."So it is.""And freezing.""Is it?""Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.
A.A. Milne
Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Nothing's impossible!
Lewis Carroll
Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are." The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes."Say 'Nevermore,'" said Shadow."Fuck you," said the raven.
Neil Gaiman
It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.
Neil Gaiman
We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!
J.K. Rowling
I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable."Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.
J.K. Rowling
No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?""What?""Oh, you'd like something simpler?
Terry Pratchett
I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.
G.K. Chesterton
There is nothing more luxurious than eating while you read—unless it be reading while you eat. Amabel did both: they are not the same thing, as you will see if you think the matter over.
E Nesbit
have i gone mad?im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.
Lewis Carroll
For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.
J.K. Rowling
Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you...""Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.
J.K. Rowling
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.
Steven Moffat
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams
Puns are the highest form of literature.
Alfred Hitchcock
Seventeen, eh!" said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred."Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?""Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?""I forge’ the details," Hagrid chortled.
J.K. Rowling
Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there."Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself.
J.K. Rowling
Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.
J.K. Rowling
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
Terry Pratchett
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Douglas Adams
Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?
J.K. Rowling
Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!
J.K. Rowling
An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure?""Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?""Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow...""I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.
J.K. Rowling
I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed.
J.K. Rowling
DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.
Terry Pratchett
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.
Neil Gaiman
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Terry Pratchett
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
Douglas Adams
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
Why were you lurking under our window?""Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?""Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage."Listening to the news! Again?""Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.
J.K. Rowling
Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.
J.K. Rowling
He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy...
J.K. Rowling
Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
J.R.R. Tolkien
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
Terry Pratchett
How do you feel, Georgie?" whispered Mrs. Weasley.George's fingers groped for the side of his head."Saintlike," he murmured."What's wrong with him?" croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?""Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit?
J.K. Rowling
Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?
J.K. Rowling
Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –""Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.""Great idea though, thanks, Mum.
J.K. Rowling
Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.
J.K. Rowling
Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!
J.K. Rowling
The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Douglas Adams
Don't Panic.
Douglas Adams
It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.
Arthur Conan Doyle
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
Winston S. Churchill
Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.
J.K. Rowling
You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.
J.K. Rowling
Don't talk to me.""Why not?""Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...
J.K. Rowling
Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students."Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.
J.K. Rowling
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Charles Dickens
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
Terry Pratchett
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,Go throw your TV set away,And in its place you can installA lovely bookshelf on the wall.Then fill the shelves with lots of books.
Roald Dahl
The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
Douglas Adams
Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.
Lewis Carroll
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Winston S. Churchill
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
Jane Austen
Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again."So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...
J.K. Rowling