Quotes by British Authors - Page 796

So you were going to rescue the Prince! Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?""Not likely! I'm a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell myself I'm not doing it!
Diana Wynne Jones
You must have been going very fast.""I was, until I hit the fence.
Anthony Horowitz
I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson
One Direction
But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!""Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.
Eddie Izzard
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
Lewis Carroll
Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?
William Makepeace Thackeray
Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs.
J.K. Rowling
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
P.G. Wodehouse
I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.
George Gordon Byron
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Alfred Hitchcock
There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of un-hatched chicks.
Neil Gaiman
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. Wodehouse
We do need a system, and we do need you and your 'Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. - Quinn
Michael Grant
An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.
Winston S. Churchill
If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ...
Sophie Kinsella
Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.
Dick Francis
The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.
Stephen Hawking
Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride - where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.
Jane Austen
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. Wodehouse
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
Patrick Ness
No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.
Stephen Fry
He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times.
Neil Gaiman
In a totally sane society, madness is the only freedom.
J.G. Ballard
Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is.
A.A. Milne
Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one's luck.
Iris Murdoch
He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.
Louise Rennison
You have a very open relationship with your fans.""Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.
Neil Gaiman
If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives - !''because it's the first time for all of us,' said Ron.'This is different, pretending to be me -''Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry,' said Fred earnestly. 'Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.'Harry did not smile. 'You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.''Well, that's the plan scuppered,' said George. 'Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.''Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance,' said Fred.
J.K. Rowling
Call me sentimental, but there's no-one in the world that I'd like to see get dysentery more than you
David Nicholls
If you are good life is good.
Roald Dahl
When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine
Margaret Thatcher
And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.
Terry Pratchett
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
Edward Verrall Lucas
Either you go to America with Mrs. Van Hopper or you come home to Manderley with me.""Do you mean you want a secretary or something?""No, I'm asking you to marry me, you little fool.
Daphne du Maurier
Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely," said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. "But I must say, Ginevra's dress is far too low-cut."Ginny glanced round, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again.
J.K. Rowling
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P.G. Wodehouse
My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.
Diana Wynne Jones
I'll not listen to reason... reason always means what someone else has got to say.
Elizabeth Gaskell
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Terry Pratchett
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
Douglas Adams
I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!
Diana Wynne Jones
Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?""Is that including, or not including you?
Anthony Horowitz
He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.
Neil Gaiman
Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them
Terry Pratchett
I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.
J.K. Rowling
Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.
J.K. Rowling
I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...”“Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore.
J.K. Rowling
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. Wodehouse
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P.G. Wodehouse
It is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with, on his first encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of continually stating and restating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "So this is it, we're going to die."His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up.After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this--"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.
Douglas Adams
Can you enter a house uninvited?""No.""Why?""That would be rude.
Abigail Gibbs
You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why....this is why I like you.
Morrissey
It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?
Jane Austen
Would you like a cough drop Dolores?
J.K. Rowling
I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze.", November 1913)
D.H. Lawrence
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.
G.K. Chesterton
Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin."And what happened?" pressed Ford."It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
Douglas Adams
Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style.""That is a footstool.
Jonathan Stroud
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.
Douglas Adams
What do you think that fish is?' Sam asked Astrid.,' she said.'Yeah?' Sam made a face. 'Do you think it's okay to eat?'? Inedible? Joke, duh. Try to keep up, Sam, I made that really easy for you.'Sam smiled. 'You know, a real genius would have known I wouldn't get it. Ergo, you are not a real genius. Hah. That's right. I threw down an 'ergo.''She gave him a pitying look. 'That's very impressive, Sam. Especially from a boy who has twenty-two different uses for the word 'dude.
Michael Grant