Quotes by British Authors - Page 647

I'm a post-menopausal woman who's lived in a man's world for twenty years. A more cynical, cruel creature it's hard to find.
Mo Hayder
The house in the story is based on my friend Tori's house in Kinsale, Ireland, which is obviously not actually haunted, and the sound of people upstairs moving wardrobes around when you are downstairs there and alone is probably just something that old houses do when they think they are unobserved.
Neil Gaiman
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.
Terry Pratchett
The harder I work, the luckier I become.
Terry Pratchett
Five hundred years ago the notoriously savvy Henry VIII discovered an elegant way to solve both his theological problems and his personal liquidity crisis —he dissolved the monasteries and nicked all their land.
Ben Aaronovitch
Old Enochian running on neural wetware is not the fastest procedural language ever invented, and it’s semantics make AppleScript look like a thing of elegance and beauty
Charles Stross
So no get out of jail free card huh?” Ingra doesn't say a word I hear groaning behind me it's Tria she slowly gets up “How did we get here?!” Tria tries to keep her voice calm
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
Ingra just kept a straight face he hoped Vilenthe was joking. “Anyway.” Ingra tried to bring the topic full circle
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
Basically what Ingra is saying is trust him he knows what to do despite us probably dying soon.” Tria chimed in “Right...” Pantiel replied
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
There is no more thrilling sensation I know of than sailing. It comes as near to flying as man has got to yet - except in dreams.
Jerome K. Jerome
While the Saint, when it was necessary to play the part, could assume an aspect of proud or unprincipled poverty that would evoke a responsive twang from any normal heartstring, his usual appearance, fortunately or unfortunately, suggested a person who was so far on the other side of having been born with a silver spoon in his mouth that he must have been seriously shocked when he first learned that gold spoons were not standard issue.
Leslie Charteris
The pleasant fact is that the British are not much good at violent crime except in fiction, which is of course as it should be.
Bill Bryson
Oh, is that my report, father?' said Mike, with a sort of sickly interest, much as a dog about to be washed might evince in his
P.G. Wodehouse
If you don’t like your appearance, then change it, but don’t keep doing nothing and then complaining about it, because it’s bo
Sharon Kendrick
Reacher prowled the hallway, his gun stiff-armed way out in front of him, his torso jerking violently left and right from the hips, like a crazy disco dance. The house-storming shuffle.
Lee Child
Funny how you never hear novelists or painters say they work in the 'creative industries', but only squalid little advertising people. How could this be? (.....)If you listen to advertisers, you'd think they're the fucking Oracle and that for a fee they'll slip you the Answer. They are obsessed with being seen as 'creative', but what they do seems rather to be 'parasitical' : pinching cultural innovations and using them to persuade people that they want stuff. So there's a dilemma for us all to think 'creatively' about.
Steve Lowe
Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.
S.K. Tremayne
Busty’ Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted sense of humour made him a Lance Bombardier. Roberts went insane with power. The war now consisted of two people, him and Hitler.
Spike Milligan
Some people live a nothing life: the most important thing they ever do is die. Thank God for eccentrics! Take Gunner Octavian Neat. He would suddenly appear naked in a barrack room and say, “Does anybody know a good tailor?”, or “Gentlemen – I think there’s a thief in the battery.” He was the bane of the Regiment.
Spike Milligan
...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted sense of humour made him a Lance Bombardier. Roberts went insane with power. The war now consisted of two people, him and Hitler.
Spike Milligan
And he had been very badly treated by a girl too. He had thought her a really civilised and adult personality, and then she had unexpectedly revealed that she was a mass of bourgeois prejudices and monogamic instincts.
C.S. Lewis
Who are you after?”“The snarky asshole one.”“Could you be a little more specific.”“The one who has a staff and throws their toys out of the pram that one.”“Ooh.”“Yeah.
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
Yeah no shit, try asking random people about a bird owned by someone you don't know!” Javal countered “Well still you got it!” Javal acknowledged this with a small grin “Now what?” Javal asked Ingra scratched his head “Yeah...Well Dilmore suggested the idea....Not me.
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
Remember the plan?” Hunter asked as they drew closer to their target.Kristen looked at him sceptically. "'Keep quiet and don’t get seen’ is not a very professional plan. Did you have anything else to add?
K.S. Marsden
Hunter could only groan. “What are you doing, Kristen?”“Bringing breakfast.” She replied innocently. “Think of it as thanks for saving my life.”Hunter sat up in bed, looking his usual ruffled morning mess, with extra dark circles under the eyes today. “Technically, I didn’t save your life, Mel did.”“Ok, then think of it as punishment for putting my life at risk.” Kristen shrugged, and helped herself to a piece of toast. “It’s all a ruse, anyway.
K.S. Marsden
Most people, on waking up, accelerate through a quick panicky pre-consciousness check-up: who am I, where am I, who is he/she, good god, why am I cuddling a policeman's helmet, what happened last night?And this is because people are riddled by Doubt. It is the engine that drives them through their lives. It is the elastic band in the little model aeroplane of their soul, and they spend their time winding it up until it knots. Early morning is the worst time -there's that little moment of panic in case You have drifted away in the night and something else has moved in. This never happened to Granny Weatherwax. She went straight from asleep to instant operation on all six cylinders. She never needed to find herself because she always knew who was doing the looking.
Terry Pratchett
Why, how much did you tip him?'Ford named a figure again.'I don't know how much it is,' said Arthur. 'What's it worth in pounds sterling? What could it buy you?''It would probably buy you, roughly... er...' Ford screwed his eyes up as he did some calculations in his head. 'Switzerland,' he said at last.
Douglas Adams
Hecate dresses in all black, is extremely pale, unearthly beautiful and has the most chilling eyes I’ve ever known. All in all, she comes across as one of ‘The Walking Dead’ – except alive and far prettier!
Adele Rose
The library could be summed up in three words – enormous, ancient and dusty – extremely dusty. It was exactly like those magnificent libraries you more or less see in every gothic movie. What’s more, I was thankful that I was not an asthmatic, for this was most definitely their form of hell.
Adele Rose
So much for a “Happy Halloween!” I thought sarcastically. I should wear a huge sign around my neck from now onwards that reads: ‘Stay clear of me if you want your party to survive the night’!
Adele Rose
Soon, they actually began to titter on their toes as they glared at me, looking more like an army of angry wasps than ever before. All they needed now were matching yellow and black jumpers and pretend stingers!
Adele Rose
Sir William was also startled, but when Vicky smiled at him, rather in the manner of an engaging street-urchin, his countenance relaxed slightly, and he asked her what she was doing with herself now that she had come home to live."Well it all depends," she replied seriously.Sir William had no daughters, but only his memories of his sisters to guide him, so he said that he had no doubt she was a great help to her mother, arranging flowers, and that kind of thing."Oh no, only if it's that sort of a day!" said Vicky.Sir William was still turning this remark over in his mind when the butler came in to announce that dinner was served.
Georgette Heyer
A laugh a day does you more good than an apple – read a humours book ...
James Minter
(on learning Westlife had beaten Oasis, U2 and The Beatles in an album chart battle in November 2006): There is no God.
Noel Gallagher
How could they have forgotten the importance of today’s date? My brain screamed at me as, with shaking fingers, I climbed the stairs to the bus, before making my way to the back, out of sight. My birthday, like the norm, happens on the same date every year. Therefore, the confused part of my brain argued, how could they have all simply forgotten this fact and acted so “normal” when I entered the kitchen this morning? They may have been abducted by aliens in the night? This was a voice from the incomprehensible area of my mind. Consequently, their behaviour would make complete sense then! Furthermore, answered another voice from the same ridiculous compartment, they could’ve simply gone to bed last night fine and then awoken the next morning with amnesia? Sometimes, these things happen unexpectedly. Adele Rose, Awakening.
Adele Rose
Surely, if my parents and older brother were awake now, that would mean that they would have remembered such an important date and, as soon as they saw me, congratulate me on living another year? Adele Rose, Awakening.
Adele Rose
I guess that the goddess Venus wasn’t on my side with this fine specimen of the male gender!
Adele Rose
Although he was undeniably handsome, at the end of the day, he was still some random stranger, who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, wanted to talk to me and who knew my name. The term ‘Stranger Danger’ flashed before my eyes! Therefore, no matter how hot he was, I wasn’t going to let my guard down…yet.
Adele Rose
Make a run for it! A voice in my head commanded me. Make a run for it, before it’s too late! This voice was clearly sensible. However, sometimes I wasn’t sensible, especially when intrigue was involved.
Adele Rose
PE! This word was comprised of two single letters, which would normally not cause anyone any trouble. They were two single letters that were usually associated with the further words of “health” and “extended life” and therefore, had a positive reputation. However, for me, the P and the E put together was the worst possible combination. Every time they were mentioned, I would sigh in displeasure, my heart rate would increase and I would feel lightheaded. After all, in my mind, PE = exercise and exercise = torture!
Adele Rose
I was in my element, excuse the pun.
Adele Rose
His tricks had raised the temperature of the room considerably, although I was pretty sure his presence alone had that effect.
Adele Rose
How could I suddenly go from a person who had struggled to dissect an already dead mouse, to someone who was willing to murder a human being? There was no logic to it!
Adele Rose
It his mind, they reminded him of ‘Tweedle Dee’ and ‘Tweedle Dum’, with an extra emphasise placed on the ‘Dum’!
Adele Rose
And who among the company at Monseigneur's reception in that seventeen hundred and eightieth year of our Lord, could possibly doubt, that a system rooted in a frizzled hangman, powdered, gold-laced, pumped, and white-silk stockinged, would see the very stars out!
Charles Dickens
Sadly, like many times in life, including winning the lottery, we don’t always get what we wish for.
Adele Rose
Clearly, she hadn’t heard of the two words ‘social’ and ‘life’.
Adele Rose
With every step, I cursed the person who had ever invented the saying: “Speak of the devil”. Clearly, they had no sympathy for me!
Adele Rose
Hecate smelt the odour of death as clearly as she might smell the wonderful, scented fragrance of blooming flowers in springtime or the delicious smell of dinner wafting down the hallway.
Adele Rose
There are a number of rules that should be observed when one meets royalty, ranging from what one can say and when, to where one should stand, when one can sit, even where one should look. Sindy bobbed a nervous curtsy and, before being introduced, blurted out an invitation to come inside whilst looking John directly in the eye.
F.D. Lee
There isn’t anything I can tell you that you don’t already know,” Melly answered.“Yes, but if we already know it then you’re not telling us anything new,” Bea said, thinking her way through the carriages of fear on the witch’s train of thought, “and if we don’t tell you what we know and what we don’t know, then you won’t know if you’ve actually told us something we don’t know, and what you don’t know we don’t know won’t hurt you.”Melly stared at Bea, her cigarette hanging from her lip in defeat.“Did that make sense?” Joan asked.“Yes,” Melly said slowly, “but it probably shouldn’t have done.
F.D. Lee
One minute he stood transfixed, the next he uttered a crushing oath, and took a hasty stride forward. Mr Ringwood, recovering from his own stupefaction, closed with him, just as George, flushing vividly, sprang to his
Georgette Heyer
Life is difficult and those who make us laugh are angels.
Wayne Gerard Trotman
Oh poor Octave, no luck at all, as usual," said Madame Rocher, "he is still with his regiment, still only a captain. Of course, if it hadn't been for this wretched war, he would be at least a colonel by now.
Nancy Mitford
The bullets are gun-eggs,” Collingswood said to Baron, looking at Vardy. Farmers squeezing their holy metal beasts to percussive climax, fertilisation by cordite expulsion, violent ovipositors. Seeking warm places full of nutrients, protecting baby guns deep in the bone cages, until they hatched.
China Miéville
It’s a terrible person who listens to what we say rather than what we mean
F.D. Lee
Then I think, fuck it, this bit of floor looks nice.
Jay Stringer
I wanted to make at least an effort to impress, so I found my best suit, a Primark special that looked like it had been ironed by a blind man
Jay Stringer
No, he didn’t come to me for a gun. I only said that because of you, thought maybe you’d want one, with being shot and everything.’ ‘Why the fuck would I want a gun? Would you ask a man who’s just been bitten by a shark if he wants to buy a shark?
Jay Stringer
We ran both the courier service and a detective agency from the same office, and had phone apps for both. Basically, we're Uber for parcels and mysteries.
Jay Stringer