Quotes by American Authors - Page 97

Every reform was once a private opinion and when it shall be a private opinion again it will solve the problem of the age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I try to learn one new thing a week to balance the one thing I forget a week but lately I forget three things a week.
Joseph Gies
When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go right on cooking.
Gail Sheehy
Retirement must be wonderful. I mean you can suck in your stomach for only so long.
Burt Reynolds
I'm going to spend it all. . . why leave it to our errors?
Brian Morgan
Old age is when you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
Laurence J. Peter
The question isn't at what age I want to retire it's at what income.
George Foreman
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Scott Elledge
The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work stretch out in the sun and scratch himself.
H.L. Mencken
They have sown the wind and they shall reap the whirlwind.
Ballou Hosea
He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities.
Benjamin Franklin
I propose to fight it out on this line if it takes all Summer.
Ulysses S. Grant
I am in earnest - I will not equivocate - I will not excuse - I will not retreat a single inch and I will be beard.
William Lloyd Garrison
Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
George Washington
A republican government is slow to move yet when once in motion its momentum becomes irresistible.
Thomas Jefferson
It is of great importance in a republic not only to guard against the oppression of its rulers but to guard one part of society against the injustice of the other part.
Alexander Hamilton
A monarchy is a merchantman which sails well but will sometimes strike on a rock and go to the bottom a republic is a raft which will never sink but then your feet are always in water.
Fisher Ames
I suppose you've heard all those wicked stories about me. Well I've lived my life as it came and I've done bloody marvels with a bad hand.
Libby Holman
No sensible person ever made an apology.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Apology - a desperate habit and one that is rarely cured.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Apologize v: to lay the foundation for a future offence.
Ambrose Bierce
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man without lowering him in his estimation and yours too.
Josh Billings
There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.
Ogden Nash
My creed is this: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so.
Charles J. Ingersoll
If men are so wicked with religion what would they be without it?
Benjamin Franklin
Men will wrangle for religion write for it fight for it die for it anything but - live it.
Walter Colton
I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?
Robert Orben
I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.
Jan Sterling
Coincidence is God's way of performing miracles anonymously.
Sophy Burnham
The world is my country all mankind are my brethren and to do good is my religion.
Thomas Paine
My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.
Hal Roach
A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.
H.L. Mencken
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
H.L. Mencken
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Laurence J. Peter
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me it's the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Robert Orben
If you can't be kind at least be vague.
David Powers
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
Henny Youngman
The first Sunday I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
Woody Allen
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord in his wisdom didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
It's clear why they only served bread and wine at the Last Supper. It was a potluck . . . organized by men.
Patti Page
To all things clergic I am allergic.
Alexander Woollcott
When something good happens it's a miracle and you should wonder what God is saving up for you later.
Marshall Brickman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
A church is a hospital for sinners not a museum for saints.
Abigail Van Buren
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
Heaven goes by favor if it went by merit you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would not stop to ask directions.
Elayne Boosler
I do benefits for all religions. ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope
I have a hard time believing that billions of years ago two protozoa bumped into each other under a volcanic cesspool and evolved into Cindy Crawford.
Robert G. Lee
There are no atheists on turbulent airplanes.
Erica Jong
You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me a clear sign like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
I'm not ok - you're not ok and that's ok.
Rev. William Sloane Coffin
There is a crack in everything God has made.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
My atheism like that of Spinoza is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of their human interests.
George Santayana