Quotes by American Authors - Page 3358

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
Mark Twain
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Dr. Seuss
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Charles M. Schulz
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
W.C.Fields
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
Henry Ward Beecher
What the hell is that?" I laughed."It's my fox hat.""Your fox hat?""Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.""Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked."Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.
John Green
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.
Stephen King
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
Laurence J. Peter
THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. We are here to help you. 2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings. 3. The dress code will be enforced. 4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds. 5. Our football team will win the championship this year. 6. We expect more of you here. 7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen. 8. Your schedule was created with you in mind. 9. Your locker combination is private. 10. These will be the years you look back on fondly. TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. You will use algebra in your adult lives. 2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away. 3. Students must stay on campus during lunch. 4. The new text books will arrive any day now. 5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores. 6. We are enforcing the dress code. 7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon. 8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals. 9. There is nothing wrong with summer school. 10. We want to hear what you have to say.
Laurie Halse Anderson
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
George Carlin
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Billy Sunday
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris Rock
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
Groucho Marx
Never memorize something that you can look up.
Albert Einstein
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
Lemony Snicket
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.
Rita Mae Brown
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Charles J. Sykes
Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.
Suzanne Collins
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C.Fields
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Benjamin Franklin Wade
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Charles Bukowski
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.
John Green
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Paul Terry
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
Jim Henson
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
Garrison Keillor
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Mark Twain
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
So many books, so little time.
Frank Zappa
Do you love yourself enough to BE what you love yourself enough to WANT?
Steve Maraboli
Sometimes you deal with the devil not because you want to, but because if you don't, someone else will.
Laurell K. Hamilton
CLAUDIA: I love you as high as the sky and as deep as the sea.MICHAEL: Multiply my love by infinity and take it to the depths of forever, and you still have only a glimpse of how much I feel for you. I love you more.
Mary Ting
What other people think of me is not my business.
Michael J. Fox
Often, moreover, it is...that aspect of our being that society finds eccentric, ridiculous, or disagreeable, that holds our sweet waters, our secret well of happiness, the key to our equanimity in malevolent climes.
Tom Robbins
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
Ellen DeGeneres
Because saving the people you love isn't stupid. It isn't even a choice
Kami Garcia
Religious people fear hell -- Spiritual people have walked thru it.
Frank Warren
We could all do with a bit more joy in our lives couldn't we? The wonderful thing is that when we start spreading joy, we begin to actually experience more joy in our lives too!
Steve Goodier
The bottom line is, insults only hurt when they come from someone I respect.
Kresley Cole
Actually, you can be bad at something...but if you love doing it, that will be enough. - August Boatwright
Sue Monk Kidd
My CreedI do not choose to be a common man,It is my right to be uncommon … if I can,I seek opportunity … not security.I do not wish to be a kept citizen.Humbled and dulled by having theState look after me.I want to take the calculated risk;To dream and to build.To fail and to succeed.I refuse to barter incentive for a dole;I prefer the challenges of lifeTo the guaranteed existence;The thrill of fulfillmentTo the stale calm of Utopia.I will not trade freedom for beneficenceNor my dignity for a handoutI will never cower before any masterNor bend to any threat.It is my heritage to stand erect.Proud and unafraid;To think and act for myself,To enjoy the benefit of my creationsAnd to face the world boldly and say:This, with God’s help, I have doneAll this is what it meansTo be an Entrepreneur.
Dean Alfange
Why are you being so mean?""Friends tell friends the truth.""yeah, but not to hurt, to help.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Islam and Christianity promise eternal paradise to the faithful. And that is a powerful opiate, certainly, the hope of a better life to come. But there's a Sufi story that challenges the notion that people believe only because they need an opiate. Rabe'a al-Adiwiyah, a great woman saint of Sufism, was seem running through the streets of her hometown, Basra, carrying a torch in one hand and a bucket of water in the other. When someone asked her what she was doing, she answered, 'I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven of fear of hell, but because He is God.
John Green
I Love Loving YouYou are my favorite song; a rhythm of beauty that captures my spirit.You are my favorite poem; an exquisite grouping of ideas set in motion with an unmatched enchanting elegance. You are my best friend; from our laughter to our deep conversations, our moments together are a timeless pleasure.You are my soul mate; a connection so pure, so powerful, that it can only be considered divine. You are my lover; a passionate entwinement, a chorus of ecstasy, and a feeling of complete unity that words could never adequately describe.You are my angel; you remind me of the goodness in this world and inspire me to be the greatest version of myself.You are my home; it is in your loving gaze that I find the comfort, acceptance, and the sense of belonging. You are my love ~ mi amor; there are not enough days in forever to allow me to fully express my love for you.I love loving you.
Steve Maraboli
We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.
Steve Maraboli
What others think about you is none of your business.
Jack Canfield
Of course we're Christian. The very name of the church declares that. The more people see us and come to know us, the more I believe they will come to realize that we are trying to exemplify in our lives and in our living the great ideals which (Jesus Christ) taught.
Gordon B. Hinckley
Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Brené Brown
When you've found another soul who see's in to your own...take good care of each other..and remember to be kind..
Jackson Browne
Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person's capacity to act.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Unless we have something worth dying for, Atretes, we've nothing worth living for.
Francine Rivers
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Ambrose Bierce
Live Long and Prosper
Leonard Nimoy