Quotes by American Authors - Page 205

Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.
Eugene Field
You're only young once but you can always be immature.
Dave Barry
I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller
There are three ages of man: youth middle age and "Gee you look good."
Red Skelton
Women don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty but when you get to be seventy it stretches into a condor.
Billy Elmer
I was just thinking when I was a young girl I never knew what every young girl was supposed to know. And now I am going to be an old lady I don't know what every old lady is supposed to know.
Edith Bunker
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
Flip Wilson
Old age is like everything else to make a success of it you got to start young.
Fred Astaire
Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
Satchel Paige
I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.
Robert Orben
I have everything I had twenty years ago only it's all a little bit lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Franklin Pierce Adams
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
The secret to longevity is to keep breathing.
Sophie Tucker
Actually being sixty-five isn't so bad. As a matter of fact I rather like being called a sexagenarian. At this time of life it sounds like flattery.
James Humes
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
Ogden Nash
There's one advantage to being 102. There's no peer pressure.
Dennis Wolfberg
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
Laurence J. Peter
Try to accept each other for what you are and don't point out the fact that the hair he's losing on his head is now growing out of his nose - and his ears.
Peg Bundy
I'm sixty-five but if there were fifteen months in every year I'd only be forty-eight.
James Thurber
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
Robert Orben
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always asked to do things and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down.
T.S Eliot
I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
Doris Day
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
George Burns
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren
At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? . . . Amazed!
Ludwig von Mises
I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
George Burns
Of all the things I miss the thing I miss the most is my mind.
Lotus Weinstock
After thirty a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler
Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
Joan Rivers
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to a hundred.
Woody Allen
Enjoy how sweet how thoughtful how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
Melvin Helitzer
You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes just so you don't have to go along.
Jacob Braude
I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
Where unwilling dies the rose Buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
In my beginning is my end.
T.S Eliot
The government is concerned about the population explosion and the population is concerned about the government explosion.
Ruth Rankin
The egg it is the source of all To everyone's ancestral hall.
Clarence Day
And the Raven never flitting Still is sitting still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas Just above my chamber door And his eyes have all the seeming Of a demon's that is dreaming And the lamplight o'er him streaming Throws his shadow on the floor And my soul from out that shadow That lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore.
Edgar Allan Poe
One anecdote of a man is worth a volume of biography.
William Ellery Channing
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone it has to be made like bread remade all the time made new.
Ursula K Le Guin
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
Love is a deep well from which you may drink often but into which you may fall but once.
Ellye Howell Glover
You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.
Henny Youngman
It is an extra dividend when you like the girl you've fallen in love with.
Clark Gable
The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence.
Albert Ellis
I believe in love but I don't sit around waiting for it.
Renee Zellweger
I have learned not to worry about love but to honor its coming with all my heart.
Alice Walker
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
Helen Rowland
Love is a madness if thwarted it develops fast.
Mark Twain
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
No this trick won't work. . . . How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Albert Einstein
Love at first sight is easy to understand it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Sam Levenson
A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick a youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.
Mary Wilson Little
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
Kahlil Gibran
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful we must carry it with us or we will not find it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson