Quotes by American Authors - Page 135

It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh.
Agnes Repplier
The irony of love is that it guarantees some degree of anger fear and criticism.
Harold H. Bloomfield
They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
Ring Lardner
The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love.
Henry Miller
Selfishness is one of the qualities apt to inspire love.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to one as one's own satisfaction or security then the state of love exists.
Henry Stack Sullivan
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope
Romance without finance is no good.
Willie The Lion' Smith
You've got to love what's lovable and hate what's hateable. It takes brains to see the difference.
Robert Frost
You can always get someone to love you - even if you have to do it yourself.
Tom Masson
I no longer cared about survival - I merely loved.
Loren Eiseley
The porcupine whom one must handle gloved may be respected but is never loved.
Arthur Guiterman
The loving are the daring.
Bayard Taylor
From success you get a lot of things but not that great inside thing that love brings you.
Sam Goldwyn
No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.
Mignon McLaughlin
Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly.
Louis Ginsberg
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
H.L. Mencken
Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."
Erich Fromm
If we all discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to tell them that they loved them.
Christopher Morley
Every theory of love from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.
G. Stanley Hall
After all my erstwhile dear my no longer cherished need we say it was no love just because it perished?
Edna St. Vincent Millay
My wife and I had words - but I never got to use mine.
Fibber McGee
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.
James Woods
I've married a few people I shouldn't have but haven't we all?
Mamie Van Doren
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce I think I'm about a hundred thousand dollars short.
Mickey Rooney
The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible that is one is male and the other female.
Anna Quindlen
Somehow there was a lack of communication - She thought he said: "Till debt do us part."
Brian Morgan
We've never been happier. Things are great. . . I just don't go into her part of the house.
Buddy Hackett
Getting married is a good deal like going to a restaurant with your friends. You order what you want and then when you see what the other fellow got you wish you had taken that.
Clarence Darrow
Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.
Jay Leno
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce murder yes but divorce never.
Jack Benny
The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play Softball on the weekends.
Bobby Kelton
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is "How much do you think we have to spend on them?"
Judith Martin
She represents the country Alamonia.
David Letterman
I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben
Advice to son: Never confuse "I love you" with "I want to marry you."
Cleveland Amory
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.
Rita Rudner
I haven't spoken to my wife in years-I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
I do not spoil women. ... I don't send them flowers and gifts. . . . I'm saving those gestures until I am an unpleasant old man who must resort to bribery to win a woman's synthetic affections.
George Sanders
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
You need that guy like a giraffe needs a strep throat.
Ann Landers
I'd like to go to assertiveness training class. First I need to check with my wife.
Adam Christing
We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
My wife and I have many arguments but she only wins half of them. My mother-in-law wins the other half.
Terry Bechtol
True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells get your ears checked.
Erich Segal
Never get married in the morning because you never know who you'll meet that night.
Paul Hornung
she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.
Jacob Braude
We're having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception and what he wants is to break off our engagement.
Sally Poplin
Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West
No man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it by making a dog play dead.
W.C.Fields
My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she writes in her diary.
Drake Sather
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First let her think she's having her way. And second let her have it.
Lyndon Johnson
The groom is so much better for her than her last boyfriend. He's sophisticated he brings her flowers and candy he dines by candlelight. Her last boyfriend thought it was enough to spray her name on a fence.
Tim Conway
A bachelor is a man who can take a nap on top of a bedspread.
Marcelene Cox
I don't know which was worse the cost of the bridesmaid dress or having to wear it.
Debbie Etchings
If love is the answer could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin