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American
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May 20, 1982
American
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Author
May 20, 1982
'But even I know that in your line of work, there's a difference between being a volunteer and being volun-told.'
T.J. Klune
And if there is one last thing I would have you know before we reach these final pages, it's that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we want it to be so, sometimes there is no such a thing as happy ending. This is my ending. This is how i burn.
T.J. Klune
I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s you.
T.J. Klune
Well, then, Otter, of course I don’t like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don’t see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you?
T.J. Klune
I’ll wait for you,” he said as his hand dropped to his side, as his eyes began to dim. “I think I could wait for you forever.
T.J. Klune
The big kid hasn't said anything yet. 'I do like hearing myself talk,' I say, 'only because I have a lot of neat things to say, but eventually the conversation will run out in, like, four or five years, and then where will we be?' Wonder of all wonders, he cracks a little smile. I don't blame him. I am pretty funny.
T.J. Klune
I watched the black ocean in his eyes and saw this flash behind them and understood what he had meant the night before, about the insanity that had gripped him. He was not so far gone as to be lost, but he was close, and I knew it had come from me turning my back on him as I had started to flee. Whether I wanted to or not, I anchored him to this world, and I was the only thing he'd known, maybe for his whole life. He had watched me, yes, he had stalked me, oh yes, but it had driven him to the edge. I inhaled sharply at the wildness I saw in him, the despair that was threatening to rise.
T.J. Klune
Creed scowls. "Hardly. All he does now is mope like a goddamn teenage girl. Anytime I'm home, he's in his room with the door locked. I'm telling you guys, he got worked over really bad in San Diego. I thought the whole point of having a gay brother was that they were supposed to be all cool and shit. I got a defective gay.
T.J. Klune
He hesitates, then says, "You don't think Otter... gets offended by what I say?" He begins to speak faster. "I mean, I don't care who Otter sleeps with. I don't care that he's a fa- gay. I don't care that he's gay. Why would I ?" He grins thinly. "He's my brother. You don't turn away from someone like him just because he likes sick instead if the good stuff.
T.J. Klune
So while I drove my little and planned his fantasy night of how I was going to give Otter the key to my soul (his words, not mine), I silently panicked and wrote lines of bad poetry. Normally, I am quite adept at writing poems and lyrics to songs I'l never sing, but this stuff was just atrocious. For example:I love youYou love meThank God for thatI'm so happyAnd Ty's personal favorite (which he helped me on): Otter! Otter! Otter!Don't lead cows to slaughterI love you and I knowI should've told you soon-aBut you didn't buy the dolphin-safe tuna!TY asked me if I got the hidden message in his poem. I told him it was loud and clear.
T.J. Klune
One thing that they don’t tell you is that fires can’t burn bright forever.
T.J. Klune
I can't do it. I can't get into a philosophical debate with an archangel, knowing how ridiculous it is and how unprepared I am.
T.J. Klune
How is that weird?” Dark the First asked incredulously. “Literally everyone does it. Literally.” “I really wish you’d stop saying literally,” Dark the Second said. “I literally don’t think you understand what that word means.
T.J. Klune
It doesn't matter. I've moved on from something that was never there to begin with. That's one of the dire things about escaping from childhood. Eventually you grow up and realize the things you wanted when you were young weren't really yours to ask for. I know that now.
T.J. Klune
It was just me and him, there in that place where tragedy had happened, where I thought my life had ended. But somehow, he made it seem like a home again. Somehow, he gave it back to me.
T.J. Klune
...Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex.This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. H said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to explain S & M and bondage to my little brother, who was persistent on the topic, and who kept staring at me with mounting horror when I finally /did/ explain, and I realized I had maybe gone too far, and we had to spend the next five minutes swearing to God that I had never nor would I ever attempt to do anything like that. He might now be the only nine-year-old who has heard the terms "cock ring" and "fisting". My parenting skills are unparalleled.
T.J. Klune