Shannon L. Alder Quotes - Page 9

The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher’s diet, with extra points at the end of the week if you don’t cheat.
Shannon L. Alder
You don't walk away to prove your worth. You walk away because you allowed someone else to dictate your value and you found yourself believing it.
Shannon L. Alder
A fantasy is nothing more than a dream you were too scared to chase.
Shannon L. Alder
You will know if you are on the right path when God directs your choices, not your spouse or significant other.
Shannon L. Alder
The only man worth having in your life is one that would never let you walk away.
Shannon L. Alder
The reason a lot of women can't move on from a relationship or people they love is because they need to know why. Why did this happen? Why did you do this? Why don't you care? Why did you hurt me? Why do you believe this about me? Why did you send me mixed signals? Why are these other people in your life acting like you care? Men have it all wrong. Insecurity is not why a lot of women don't let go. Women have a difficult time letting go because men don't communicate why at the level that women require. They don't back up their words with actions that are not confusing or could be misinterrupted as something else. Until, men learn that their actions and their friends and families reactions can create a questionable doubt about how they feel, they will forever have to deal with the drama they create for themselves.
Shannon L. Alder
Don't ever believe that Narcissists don't understand they have hurt you. They know exactly what they did and why they did it. The reason they can't stop their abuse is because the narcissistic supply is their addiction. Unlike, drug addicts that need their fix to feel normal, narcissists need to feel significant. This is their addiction. Even if it takes destructive ways to have this emotional balance they will pursue it. Your feelings don't count only the supply does. The greater the supply the greater the drama in your life as they pursue it. So, get over believing they don't understand. They do understand. You just found out and got in the way of their easy access to greater supply than you.
Shannon L. Alder
God helps everything come to pass. However, he reminds us that nothing comes to stay.
Shannon L. Alder
When we want to see someone in a certain way, we find a way, but when we don't we have to wake up and see who they truly are and not what our pain or anger chooses to believe.
Shannon L. Alder
There are so many battles worth fighting for. The ones not worth fighting are the insecure battles that rage in another person’s mind.
Shannon L. Alder
Don’t waste your time trying to explain yourself to people that are committed to misunderstanding you. Instead, commit your time to explaining who they are to them. When you get a person to see the positive similarities you share, it begins to restore the loss of respect between you.
Shannon L. Alder
Empathy and a huge imagination explain a lot of mysteries in the universe.
Shannon L. Alder
You're going to come across some truly gifted people in your lifetime that seem to know all the answers. However, they lost their personal relationship with God, along the way. Love them anyways, and do everything you can to help them restore that relationship. They are fighting a war that you don't know anything about.
Shannon L. Alder
It is so simple, yet so hard for some people to do. If you want someone out of your life then you and only “you” must tell him or her to leave. This can only be done by you. Otherwise, your silence shouts, “I am undecided.” When other people get involved it sends mixed signals. If only more people would be so bold, hearts would not linger so long.
Shannon L. Alder
When you lose your ego, you win. It really is that simple.
Shannon L. Alder
You can be bit in the leg by a rattlesnake and seek help to heal your wound, or you can run after it and let the poison take your leg. The same is true with love.
Shannon L. Alder
Two people that have the same wants are two people that should be friends.
Shannon L. Alder
Anyone can become your best friend when you spend time together and share your feelings about life. However, not every best friend can free you from yourself. This is when you reconsider the word "best" and decide to expand your circle to include others.
Shannon L. Alder
The day I found my smile again was when I stood in my own storm and danced with my tribe.
Shannon L. Alder
A best friend is someone that will stand in your storm and tell you the lightening is beautiful just to make you realize that your heart was worth getting soaked.
Shannon L. Alder
When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.
Shannon L. Alder
Remember, the village idiot was the spiritual man who built the ark and saved his family. Keep being you and never give up marching to the beat of your own drum!
Shannon L. Alder
The real warriors in this world are the ones that see the details of another's soul. They see the transparency behind walls people put up. They stand on the battlefield of life and expose their heart's transparency, so other's can finish the day with hope. They are the sensitive souls that understand that before they could be a light they first had to feel the burn.
Shannon L. Alder
Sometimes what a person expresses in their eyes is more than all the books you could read on suffering.
Shannon L. Alder
When a small group of people come together to relive the Salem witch hunts, God cries. For if anything is sorrowful to God, it is evil done in his name. When you find out you were not given the truth, how will you live with yourself?
Shannon L. Alder
You will never accept gratitude as a solution to your problems, until you have reached the last stage of grief--acceptance.
Shannon L. Alder
A thorn in your side will drive you to find someone or thing to remove it. Therefore, don't hate your enemies. Thank them. Without them, you wouldn't have traveled as far in your life to find peace and happiness.
Shannon L. Alder
You need to forgive people you don't understand; if not, try to understand people you want to forgive.
Shannon L. Alder
God always brings someone into your life that has traveled the same path and knows the rocks you climbed to get to the end of the trail.
Shannon L. Alder
Never give a person a piece of your mind when all you really wanted to do was give them a piece of your heart.
Shannon L. Alder
Words matter, but what matters more than words is forgiveness and compassion.
Shannon L. Alder
People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They falsely believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are a doormat. What they don’t understand is hatred can’t be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don’t make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person’s spirit. The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this "network of life" and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.
Shannon L. Alder
Never leave a situation unless you know what you needed and what you were never going to get.
Shannon L. Alder
Act with God's compassion, mercy and forgiveness in mind and you will always be right. Act with revenge in your heart and you will always be wrong.
Shannon L. Alder
God has witnessed everything done to you. Those that love God will feel shame for what they did. Those that don't ....do not know God or have a concept of repentance or forgiveness.
Shannon L. Alder
Forgiveness doesn't mean the person that hurt you was released from God's justice. It simply means you no longer need to carry the anger from what they done because you see it wasn't about you really. It was about how they grew up, their past, their values and their way of surviving that falls outside common decency. You just happened to be the person they put all of their past hurts on and blamed. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Shannon L. Alder
There is no amount of bad karma that can compete with a contrite spirit and God's forgiveness.
Shannon L. Alder
The difference between a moral person and a person of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, made out of weakness and tries to make amends with their life when they find the opportunity to say they are sorry is lost.
Shannon L. Alder
I don't understand women that call themselves a "bitch". It doesn't empower a woman. Rather, it reveals to everyone that you were deeply hurt at one time. Because of the pain your still carrying, you will continue to hurt anyone that reminds you of those moments when you let your guard down and were fooled. Sadly, it sends a clear message to the observant that you are still hurt. If only women would realize that "we all" have moments of stupidity then they would stop comparing themselves to the masses.
Shannon L. Alder
Often the truth is in front of your face, but your eyes and heart are so full of lies that you can't see it.
Shannon L. Alder
Not every person wants the prettiest, smartest, talented or spiritually uplifting person to build a life with. Sometimes we just want that special someone that makes sense, puts up with us, has patience, comes without drama, gives us focus and is willing to run with our half-baked ideas.
Shannon L. Alder
Unless she scares the hell out of you, blows the cobwebs from your mind, scorches your heart with passion, melts your chains with goodness and lights a fire in your pants...then she is not the one.
Shannon L. Alder
Why do women waste their time trying to convince their insecure family members and girlfriends that they are beautiful? Self esteem is not a beauty cream that you can rub all over them and see instant results. Instead, convince them they are not stupid. Every intelligent woman knows outward beauty is a nip, tuck, chemical peel or diet away. If you don't like it, fix it.
Shannon L. Alder
Life has always been about God winning. He will send you a miracle that will take you through the conflict in your life into a better situation that will create the most peace in the world--- if you only believe.
Shannon L. Alder
If there was any great lesson in life it was this: No battle was ever won with silence.
Shannon L. Alder
The changes we make in life often happen when we have a degree of certainty. However, the pain of our past failures and the fears of our peers often fuel our uncertainty. This inability to predict the future is why people find themselves stuck and unable to move forward. They don't want to feel the emotions of failure. They prefer to talk themselves into settling for an "okay" life, rather than the life they really want. However, failure is a matter of perspective! Is it not failure when you don't take a chance on the one thing you need? There is no happiness in regret, staying safe or settling for anything less than what you can have through action.
Shannon L. Alder
People with anxiety and trust issues find themselves drawn to people of consistency because they feel safe with someone who is predictable. However, that doesn’t cure their problem. The anxious person still remains the same because anxiety is a wave that crashes on the shore every time an unpredictable circumstance challenges their expectations and comfort zone.
Shannon L. Alder
The only way to find peace is to face the unknown and trust that God has heard your tears.
Shannon L. Alder
Always trust your gut instinct. There will come a time when you will understand, but for now trust God has a plan greater than you have ever imagined.
Shannon L. Alder
There is a gap between what we know and what we want to experience. Either, fear will keep us tethered to the familiar or plung us into the sea. The bridge is either God or ourselves, and with each big decision we must choose who we trust the most.
Shannon L. Alder
Empowered Women 101: Only an insecure woman with control issues will look outside her relationship and say other people are to blame for her husband's lack of focus, love and respect. A real woman knows that the problem isn't other people; it is her man. If he truly loved you he wouldn't have ever made you an option and went looking for what he felt you didn't have. Don't waste your time trying to convince someone to see your worth by destroying others. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, more spiritual and more accomplished than you to distract this person. A real woman knows her worth and will never have to train anyone to recognize it.
Shannon L. Alder
People with trust issues also have faith and humility issues. You can't ask the world to rise to your expectations, yet not meet that same standard for others. The notion that God didn't hurt me, but you did becomes an illogical argument for many. People who are trying to love you feel that they can never meet your definition of love because it is one sided or has rules that don't apply to you, as well. This is when the teachings of Christ become distorted. Forgiveness, compassion, love, kindness and second chances becomes a game. People in your life feel they must win it to receive it, which is far from the unconditional love God gives us. In the end, the person with trust issues find themself on a journey of perfection seeking out people incapable of mistakes like the last person or hurting their self esteem. Sadly, they miss the blessings of growth that come through humbly accepting they are also flawed and make mistakes. They miss the blessings of faith because they don't invite God into their heart, so he can help them overcome their cycle of pain. They miss the peace that comes from forgiveness and being forgiven. But most of all, they miss out on the beautiful people God brings into their life who love them so much.
Shannon L. Alder
Love is a combination of virtues. The amount you receive from someone is based on the percentage of those virtues learned and applied. Unhappiness in a relationship is not a lack of love, but a lack of virtues in the percentages your significant other needs.
Shannon L. Alder
Look for the consistency and you will find all the trust you need. It is often found in the people that stick around long after every one has decided to leave.
Shannon L. Alder
Bitter people are not interested in what you say, but what you hide.
Shannon L. Alder
You can't turn love off like a light switch. If you could it wouldn't be love. It is something that you keep on, until the bulb burns out or someone replaces it.
Shannon L. Alder
You will finally have dignity when you realize that you are not on the path, but have become the path for others.
Shannon L. Alder
Even the smallest amount of light can push back the shadows.
Shannon L. Alder
When a person consistently hurts others it is because they deeply hurt within theirself. They disconnect from that side of them that is accountable for their actions. They cast empathy to the darkest part of their soul and choose to live life not in God's light, but the superficial light of significance (compliments, achievements, status, personal gain, other people's approval and ego). This dimmed light will never be greater than the one God gives to those that consistently show compassion, mercy and empathy. These light deprived souls are the ones that will be the hardest to rescue from hell.
Shannon L. Alder
The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Often, love is a tangled web of lies that only a broken heart would weave. Seldom is dishonesty the whole person, rather it's the pain.
Shannon L. Alder