Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I'm at the age when food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Rodney Dangerfield

If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.

Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years-I didn't want to interrupt her.

Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Rodney Dangerfield

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.

Rodney Dangerfield

You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!

Rodney Dangerfield