Jacqueline Francis - The Journal Quotes

The virus seemed to be thriving on his misery, relentlessly tearing through his insides.Every day it made its rounds through his body. It started at his fingers, making them itch to touch her until he could almost feel her fleshy lips beneath his thumb, the silky strands of her hair sliding through his fingers. It would then move up to his arms, creating an urge to hold her, an urge that could not be fulfilled.Next it went for his eyes, causing him to see her everywhere, in every little thing. He would see her in the kitchen, making coffee. He would see her cuddled up on the sofa, watching T.V. He had to blink several times before he realised that she wasn’t really there. It would then move to his heart, ruthlessly choking it until it was so heavy and so sore, he could feel the pain of losing her in every beat.And then, finally, just as night fell, it would attack his brain, invoking images of her.Thoughts and memories and dreams. He could not take much more. It was slowly driving him insane. He could not break out of these shackles.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
He cupped her chin to still the movement. "Please, Ricky." he clutched her hand tighter to his chest. "Please... I'm not going anywhere." He leaned closer until his lips were mere millimetres from hers. "I promise.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
When I'm with you I feel like...That's just it. I feel. in a very literal sense, you drive me crazy. In a very literal sense, you make my heart beat faster. In a very literal sense, Ricky...you take my breath away.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
Women problems, huh?” Mac asked.“She’s more than a problem.” Adrian massaged his temples. “She’s…a virus, a lethal one. You know, there’s a rock song about her.” He sipped his whiskey and enjoyed the burning sensation as it trickled down his throat. “It’s called Poison.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
The virus was rapidly spreading. It had infected his mind, eating away at everything except thoughts of her.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
He had wanted to cure the virus by getting rid of the source, but nothing prepared him for the hurt and disappointment he saw in her eyes.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
She never asked for that time yet she ended up getting it. He could not get away from her. Even if his feet moved at a hundred miles per hour, she was always right there, vividly imprinted in his mind. Calling him back to her. And he obediently responded to those calls. He was blindly being led by an all-consuming power that he had no control over.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
Her eyes were a different shade of green today, a soft green. The colour of autumn leaves just before they started turning brown. He had known her for three years, and there were no two days that she looked the same. Every day was a different form of beauty that was slotted irrepressibly into his memory.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
This woman is a virus and she’s eating me alive.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
When he opened his eyes again, all words escaped him. He had seen her just a second ago and yet his eyes were unprepared for the beauty they saw. Her face was perfect.Her cheeks were still flushed from the excitement. It was the same face he could not wait to see every morning; the same cheeks he had kissed every day for the past four weeks. “You’re not good for me,” he whispered.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
Having sex with her had been a catalyst, new flesh for the virus to feed on. No matter how hard he tried to block her out, she was always there at the back of his mind. Calling him. Begging him to go to her.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
March 22, 2014I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I thought I could run from this woman, but she continues to chase me. In my mind, my heart, she’s always there. An entire bottle of whiskey can’t drown out her voice. I wake up each morning hoping it will finally be the day that I get over her. But then night falls and memories of her begin to torture me until sleep is no longer an option. Each night I fall into this abyss of nothingness, feeling only the emptiness of not having her beside me.I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I slept with another woman, all the while wishing it was her and I still went through with it.What a fool I was. I still long to feel the satisfaction I was supposed to have felt that night. I still long to feel the freedom I’d hoped to gain from seeking refuge in the arms of another woman. But I’ll never be free of her. It will take an eternity to break out of these shackles.For one month, ONE month I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants and yet for two years I haven’t even so much as looked at another woman. I’ve remained completely faithful to a memory. Devoted to her smile.Committed to her ever-changing green eyes. I have read through the past entries in this journal and I noticed that I have never used her name. As if inking it would somehow solidify the feelings I think I’ve always felt.I have found the truth in the lies I told myself. I do love her.Love is this painful.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal
The virus that had lay dormant for two years had been reawakened by simply seeing her smile. He thought he would be impervious to it by now, but every time her eyes changed colour, every time she giggled, it just caused the infection to spread. He had no idea why he continued to torment himself this way; burning for a woman he knew he could not have.He happily spent an hour or two with her each day and then braced himself for the self-inflicted torture that inevitably ensued at night. That torture had become his way of life, but he found that a worse fate would be not seeing at all.
Jacqueline Francis - The Journal