Jack Handy Quotes

Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?

Jack Handy

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.

Jack Handy

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Jack Handy