Ilona Andrews Quotes - Page 2

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'....'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.

Andrea: "....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix."Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.

Ilona Andrews

Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.

Ilona Andrews

You want me to go back into that house protected by a magic sticky note?”“Don’t even start,” I told him. “It’s working. If it weren’t working, you couldn’t drag me into that place.”“What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?”“No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an a-hole!’” I headed for the house.“On yours or mine?”“On yours.”“Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

Ilona Andrews

I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?""Lord."I rolled my eyes.He shrugged. "It's short.

Ilona Andrews

No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose all sense."Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. "Want to know a secret?""Sure.""It's not the bathtub, baby."Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it."What are you looking for?""A pea Your Majesty.""What?""You heard me."I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch."Getting slow in your old age.""I thought you liked it slow."A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop.He laughed. "Ran out of snappy comebacks?""Hush. I'm trying to think of one.

Ilona Andrews

Myths tend to spiral out of control. Do you howl at the full moon and steal maidens to devour?""Depends on the maiden," he said.Was he flirting with me? Devouring didn't really go with flirting, but his tone of voice did. Was this how werewolves flirted? Hey, baby, if I had to kill any girl and eat her flesh, it would be you...clean sweep

Ilona Andrews

You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them."I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.

Ilona Andrews

Amy," Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. "I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one.

Ilona Andrews

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.

Ilona Andrews

Our relationship had been doomed form the start, because it was based on grief, and unlike love, grief eventually passed.

Ilona Andrews

I trusted her about as far as I could throw her. I was strong and she was small, but it still wasn't very far.

Ilona Andrews

Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.

Ilona Andrews

Sex is about physical attraction, yes, but it's also about trust. I don't trust you. You're completely self-absorbed and egoistic. You offer nothing I want.

Ilona Andrews

We have to stop anyway. I don't want you to regret this later. And I don't want your head to explode.""Really? You're so good that my head would explode?"It took him a moment. His expression changed from intense to speculative. "It's a possibility. I'm not a doctor, but Doolittle says it could happen.""That's a lot of expectation to live up to.""I exceed expectations."So modest, too.

Ilona Andrews

Yes,” Curran said. “We’d like you to officiate.”“I’m sorry?”“We’d like you to marry us,” I said.Roman’s eyes went wide. He pointed to himself. “Me?”“Yes,” Curran said.“Marry you?”“Yes.”“You do know what I do, right?”“Yes,” I said. “You’re Chernobog’s priest.

Ilona Andrews

So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out.

Ilona Andrews

I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.

Ilona Andrews

He plugged the phone into the outlet.It rang. Roman stared at it as if it were a viper. The phone rang again. He unplugged it. “There.” “It can’t be that bad,” I told him. “Oh, it’s bad.” Roman nodded. “My dad refused to help my second sister buy a house, because he doesn’t like her boyfriend. My mother called him and it went badly. She cursed him. Every time he urinates, the stream arches up and over.

Ilona Andrews

Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.

Ilona Andrews

Leaving what is safe so you can be more, Derek said. The cage is what the bird knows; the sky is all the things he still wants to do even if it's a risk.

Ilona Andrews

You’re like a god from a Greek myth, Saiman. You have no empathy. You have no concept of the world beyond your ego. Wanting something gives you an automatic right to obtain it by whatever means necessary with no regard to the damage it may do. I would be careful if I were you. Friends and objects of deities’ desires dropped like flies. In the end the gods always ended up miserable and alone."— Kate Daniels

Ilona Andrews

Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.

Ilona Andrews

When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind.

Ilona Andrews

Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn’t really have a philosophy, but I could see how talking with the school director would be difficult for her. If he said something she didn’t like, chopping him to tiny pieces wouldn’t exactly help me get into the school.

Ilona Andrews

I want gifts and Christmas music. I don’t care how many Draziri are out there. They won’t take Christmas from me.”“Yes, but we don’t have a suitable male,” Orro said. “And only one dog.”I looked at him.“What is this Christmas?” Wing asked.Orro turned from the stove. “It’s the rite of passage during which the young males of the human species learn to display aggression and use weapons.”Sean stopped what he was doing and looked at Orro.“The young men go out in small packs,” Orro continued. “They brave the cold and come into conflict with other packs and they have to prove their dominance through physical combat. Their fathers teach them lessons in the proper use of swear words, and the young men have to undergo tests of endurance, like holding soap in their mouths and licking cold metal objects.”Sean made a strangled noise.“At the end of their trials, they go to see a wise elder in a red suit to prove their worth. If they are judged worthy, the family erects a ceremonial tree and presents them with gifts of weapons.”Sean was clearly struggling, because his head was shaking.“Also,” Orro added, “a sacrificial poultry is prepared and then given to the wild animals, probably to appease the nature spirits.”Sean roared with laughter.

Ilona Andrews

I squinted at her. “You’re an adult.” “You’re an adult too.” “But you’re an older adult. You’ve had more practice.” Mom leaned back and laughed.

Ilona Andrews

How can it not exist? What does that—” A tiny grey body shot in front of the Land Rover. “Squirrel!”Mad Rogan swerved to the side, trying to avoid the suicidal beast. The SUV hit a curb and jumped. For a terrifying second, we almost flew, weightless. My heart leaped into my throat. The heavy vehicle landed back on the pavement with a thud. The squirrel leapt into the grass on the other side.I remembered to breathe. “Thank you for not killing the squirrel.”“You’re welcome, although now I want to go back and strangle it.

Ilona Andrews

He chuckled into my hair. My body decided this would be a fine moment to remember that his body was wrapped around mine and his body was muscular, hard, and hot, and my butt was pressed against his groin. Cuddled up by a dragon. No, thank you. Let me off this train.“If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable,” he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. “I’m doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far.

Ilona Andrews

Shit" Bug said, his face sour. "It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a lead and then poof" - he made a puffing motion with his fingers - "it melts into nothing and all you have is frustration and the far noise your face makes when you hit you desk with it."Fart.... what?

Ilona Andrews

The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it, but I didn't. I just gave him some drugs.""You gave an addict in rehab drugs, and you want credit for it?""Of course it sounds bad when you put it that way.

Ilona Andrews

Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love' would be waking up next to me after a very, very fun n

Ilona Andrews

And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot."She raised her hand. "Don't.""It was awesome," George confirmed. "It really was," Jack said. "His head exploded.

Ilona Andrews

Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most

Ilona Andrews

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers.""Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?""No.""She doesn't like poetry?""Leave it."Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes--

Ilona Andrews

She put her hand on her hip. "Where are you going?""To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool."Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.

Ilona Andrews

An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers.

Ilona Andrews

This doesn't mean you're getting a discount."Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then."Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!"Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not.

Ilona Andrews

That's all right," she told him. "I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine."Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism.

Ilona Andrews

At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?""No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God!

Ilona Andrews

You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence.

Ilona Andrews

Did I hurt you in the parking lot?""No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car."Great.

Ilona Andrews

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.Me (Ilona): ...~A little later~Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove*Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time.Kid 1: I know, right?

Ilona Andrews

He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.

Ilona Andrews

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.

Ilona Andrews

He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?""Nope!""Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me.

Ilona Andrews

Minutes passed by. A little blue butterfly landed on my nose. I blinked at it and it fluttered to my ear. A big yellow butterfly gently floated over and landed on my paw. Soon a whole swarm of them floated up and down around me, like a swirl of multicolored petals. It happened in my backyard, too, if the magic was strong enough. Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you’d have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies.If a baby deer frolicked out from between the buildings trying to cuddle up, I would roar. I wouldn’t bite it, but I would roar. I had my limits.

Ilona Andrews

When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?

Ilona Andrews

She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. “They’re anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don’t chew.”“Well, I thought I’d stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I’ll swallow them.

Ilona Andrews

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.

Ilona Andrews

Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?”His eyes flashed. “Got any to spare?” I could’ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.

Ilona Andrews

You will not pass!” Roman thundered.Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.

Ilona Andrews

Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.

Ilona Andrews

She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

Ilona Andrews

When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind.

Ilona Andrews

I squinted at her. “You’re an adult.” “You’re an adult too.” “But you’re an older adult. You’ve had more practice.” Mom leaned back and laughed.

Ilona Andrews

Previous 1 2 3 Next