Elmer Pasta Quotes

He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.

Elmer Pasta

You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.

Elmer Pasta

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Elmer Pasta

She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.

Elmer Pasta

Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.

Elmer Pasta

Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.

Elmer Pasta

For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.

Elmer Pasta

He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.

Elmer Pasta

She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!

Elmer Pasta