Dorothy Parker Quotes - Page 2

I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
Little WordsWhen you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;And I can only stare, and shape my griefIn little words.I cannot conjure loveliness, to drownThe bitter woe that racks my cords apart.The weary pen that sets my sorrow downFeeds at my heart.There is no mercy in the shifting year,No beauty wraps me tenderly about.I turn to little words- so you, my dear,Can spell them out.
Dorothy Parker
My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him.
Dorothy Parker
It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
The TriflerDeath's the lover that I'd be taking;Wild and fickle and fierce is he.Small's his care if my heart be breaking-Gay young Death would have none of me.Hear them clack of my haste to greet him!No one other my mouth had kissed.I had dressed me in silk to meet him-False young Death would not hold the tryst.Slow's the blood that was quick and stormy,Smooth and cold is the bridal bed;I must wait till he whistles for me-Proud young Death would not turn his head.I must wait till my breast is wilted.I must wait till my back is bowed,I must rock in the corner, jilted-Death went galloping down the road.Gone's my heart with a trifling rover.Fine he was in the game he played-Kissed, and promised, and threw me over,And rode away with a prettier maid.
Dorothy Parker
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
Dorothy Parker
But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
Dorothy Parker
If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
Dorothy Parker
And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.
Dorothy Parker
Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you--And if that makes you happy, kid,You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Dorothy Parker
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Dorothy Parker
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Dorothy Parker
The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.
Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Dorothy Parker
MenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They'll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your moods and ways they put a curse on;They'd make of you another person.They cannot let you go your gait;They influence and educate.They'd alter all that they admired.They make me sick, they make me tired.
Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Dorothy Parker
Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
Dorothy Parker
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.", Summer 1956]
Dorothy Parker
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker
I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Dorothy Parker
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Dorothy Parker
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Dorothy Parker
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Dorothy Parker
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy Parker
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Dorothy Parker
And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned.
Dorothy Parker
Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
Dorothy Parker
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To hell, my love, with you.
Dorothy Parker
By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying.
Dorothy Parker
I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
Dorothy Parker