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American
-
Author
&
Television Personality
November 16, 1972
American
-
Author
&
Television Personality
November 16, 1972
The most surprising thing about breaking up is that you already know how to do it. Everything you need to know, you learned in kindergarten. Yours should always be better than his (especially when it comes to lawyers).
Brandi Glanville
...if you discover your partner is cheating, drink like it’s your last party, blame everyone else for your problems, let “binging” be your new favorite hobby, and, by all means, FUCKING PANIC.
Brandi Glanville
The moral of the story couldn’t be clearer: you already know if your partner is fucking around behind your back, you just need to decide if you’re done being a doormat. You need to wake up one morning and decide that those rose-colored glasses are so last fucking season.
Brandi Glanville
I had stopped doing anything for myself. I no longer felt like an individual because for thirteen years, I was one-half of a “we.
Brandi Glanville
And finally, always remember that the other person started it.
Brandi Glanville
Sure, occasionally a certain sappy song or romantic movie would come on, and you’d wonder what he or she was up to, but there was no way to know. Of course, you could always pick up the phone (and more recently, text or e-mail), but that would require that person’s knowing you were thinking of him or her. Where’s the fun in that? You never want them to know you’re thinking of them, so you refrain. Before long the memories start to fade. One day, you realize you can’t quite remember how she smelled or the exact color of his eyes. Eventually, without ever knowing it, you just forget that person altogether. You replace old memories with new ones, and life goes on. It was the clean break you needed to move forward.
Brandi Glanville
I'm supposed to eat shit with a fork and a knife and say thank you when I'm done swallowing this crap?
Brandi Glanville
It’s actually quite the contrary. It’s time to freak the fuck out, and that’s not just acceptable, it’s obligatory. The rug has just been pulled out from beneath your feet, and everything you thought you knew with absolute certainty has vanished. Absolute hysteria is just the beginning—you’re about to embark on an entire roller coaster of crazy-ass emotions.
Brandi Glanville
No matter how old you are, there’s no cozier feeling than to have your mom take care of you.
Brandi Glanville