Anonymous Quotes - Page 11

The man who boasts he never made a mistake is often married to the woman who did.
Anonymous
I don't like being best man at a wedding 'cause there's no way to prove it.
Anonymous
Definition of a bachelor: A man who likes to invite girls over for a Scotch and sofa.
Anonymous
No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Anonymous
The last word in an argument is what a wife has. Anything a husband says after that is the beginning of another argument.
Anonymous
He loved her for what she was - rich. He worshiped the ground her family struck oil on.
Anonymous
Definition of a bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.
Anonymous
Before criticizing your wife's faults remember that they may have prevented her from getting a better husband.
Anonymous
When you see a married couple coming down the street the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one who's mad.
Anonymous
It's not that I'm too particular. It's just that I'm going to wait for Dr. Right.
Anonymous
Her figure is harder to ignore than a ringing telephone.
Anonymous
A big advantage of being bald is that you can style your hair with a damp cloth.
Anonymous
Good children's literature appeals not only to the child in the adult but to the adult in the child.
Anonymous
Literature is a power to be possessed not a body of objects to be studied.
Anonymous
It's easy enough to be pleasant when everything goes like a song but the man who is worthwhile is the man who can smile when everything goes dead wrong.
Anonymous
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Anonymous
Cheerfulness is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.
Anonymous
There is no better exercise for strengthening the heart than reaching down and lifting up another.
Anonymous
Life is a jig saw puzzle with most of the pieces missing.
Anonymous
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.
Anonymous
Life is a handful of short stories pretending to be a novel.
Anonymous
He wasn't one who wanted to look back on his life and say "I wish I spent more time in the office."
Anonymous
Being of sound mind I spent every cent I ever had.
Anonymous
If you don't go to people's funerals they won't come to yours.
Anonymous
For my family to go on living the way they are living now I can't just die. I've got to die accidentally.
Anonymous
The other night while lying on a couch I reviewed the high point of my life and fell asleep!
Anonymous
One who has both feet firmly planted in the air.
Anonymous
Liberty is always unfinished business.
Anonymous
Much learning doth make thee mad.
Anonymous
A lawyer must first get on then get honor and then get honest.
Anonymous
He has a head that is for rent unfurnished.
Anonymous
The law locks up both man and woman Who steals the goose from off the common But lets the great felon loose Who steals the common from the goose.
Anonymous
When the 30-year-old lawyer died he said to St. Peter "How can you do this to me? - a heart attack at my age? I'm only 30." Replied St. Peter: "When we looked at your total hours billed we figured you were 95."
Anonymous
Any fool can make a rule and every fool will mind it.
Anonymous
Strange how much you've got to know Before you know how little you know.
Anonymous
Ne'er of the living can the living judge - too blind the affection or too fresh the grudge.
Anonymous
Some women blush when they are kissed some call for the police some swear some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
Anonymous
Thou art weighed in the balances and art found wanting.
Anonymous
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
Anonymous
I hope you live to be as old as your jokes.
Anonymous
His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music.
Anonymous
If he can remember so many jokes With all the details that mold them Why can't he recall with equal skill All the times he told them!
Anonymous
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
Anonymous
There is but one blasphemy and that is injustice.
Anonymous
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do do it with thy might.
Anonymous
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
Anonymous
From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties And things that go bump in the night good Lord deliver us!
Anonymous
When Columbus started out he didn't know where he was going when he got there he didn't know where he was and when he got back he didn't know where he had been.
Anonymous
Little wit in the head makes much work for the feet.
Anonymous
Every time a man puts a new idea across he finds ten men who thought of it before he did - but they only thought of it.
Anonymous
He who laughs lasts.
Anonymous
All husbands are alike but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Anonymous
Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.
Anonymous
A secretary must think like a man act like a lady look like a girl and work like a dog.
Anonymous
Before I started working here I drank smoked and used bad language. Thanks to this job I now have good reason.
Anonymous
B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Anonymous
Leisure time is when your wife can't find you
Anonymous
Golf and sex: Two things you can really enjoy without being that good at them.
Anonymous
I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school everybody hated me.
Anonymous
There are no perfect people - except of course my wife's first husband.
Anonymous