A sampler of England’s hottest ‘chefs’ would include a mostly hairless young blond lad named Jamie Oliver, who is referred to as the Naked Chef. As best as I can comprehend, he’s a really rich guy who pretends he scoots around on a Vespa, hangs out in some East End cold-water flat, and cooks green curry for his ‘mates’. He’s a TV chef, so few actually eat his food. I’ve never seen him naked. I believe the ‘Naked’ refers to his ‘simple, straightforward, unadorned’ food; though I gather that a great number of matronly housewives would like to believe otherwise. Every time I watch his show, I want to go back in time and bully him at school.

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