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When people mentioned it to me, they thought they were talking about some casual relative of mine. For most people that’s what an uncle was. They had no idea how I felt about Finn. No idea that hearing them talk about AIDS, like that was the important part of the story–more important than who Finn was, or how much I loved him, or how much he was still breaking my heart every single hour of every single day–made me want to scream.