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Image of the quote is loading... SaveSave Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate,

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?” We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.

Gary Chapman
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The author stipulates that while television lately background noise for a child, it tends to shift to the foreground for the adult. The adult pays enough attention to the media attention is paid to the child.
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I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
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When you take your place as the authority figure in your home, your child will feel more safe in the real world, not the screen world.
Gary Chapman
You are the gatekeeper of your child’s mental diet.
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A gentle answer turns away wrath.
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Often we fail to consider the fact that our social, spiritual, and intellectual interests are miles apart. Our value systems and goals are contradictory, but we are in love.
Gary Chapman
In the area of linguistics, there are major languagegroups: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, English, Portuguese,Greek, German, French, and so on. Most of us grow uplearning the language of our parents and siblings, whichbecomes our primary or native tongue. Later, we may learnadditional languages but usually with much more effort.These become our secondary languages. We speak andunderstand best our native language. We feel mostcomfortable speaking that language. The more we use asecondary language, the more comfortable we becomeconversing in it. If we speak only our primary language andencounter someone else who speaks only his or herprimary language, which is different from ours, ourcommunication will be limited. We must rely on pointing,grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We cancommunicate, but it is awkward. Language differences arepart and parcel of human culture. If we are to communicateeffectively across cultural lines, we must learn the languageof those with whom we wish to communicate.In the area of love, it is similar. Your emotional lovelanguage and the language of your spouse may be asdifferent as Chinese from English. No matter how hard youtry to express love in English, if your spouse understandsonly Chinese, you will never understand how to love eachother. My friend on the plane was speaking the language of“Affirming Words” to his third wife when he said, “I told herhow beautiful she was. I told her I loved her. I told her howproud I was to be her husband.” He was speaking love, andhe was sincere, but she did not understand his language.Perhaps she was looking for love in his behavior and didn’tsee it. Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing tolearn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to beeffective communicators of love.
Gary Chapman
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