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I wished that I had died, it would have been better for everyone

Sue Whitaker
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My brain refused to move past the pain, as if it had been filled to the max and needed to be emptied.
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I tried to fight the panic and force it back down to where it had come from.
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I thought doctors were supposed to make you better not worse!
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I was trying to work out who I was.
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I would need an awful lot of willpower to fight my way through the ups and downs of the road to recovery, and there might be times when I may feel a bit down and depressed, but there would be counsellors that I could talk to about how I was feeling.
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I was extremely worried. What would happen to me now that they knew that I had lost my mind? Would they put me in a padded cell and feed me through a hatch door? Would I end up in one of those places that you hear about, where people go in but never come out?
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I didn't feel very lucky. Why me, I kept asking myself. Why had this happened to me?
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